There have been numerous discussions about the term “mansplaining,” with some arguing it’s become too broad and others claiming it doesn’t cover enough ground. While these debates might hold some academic weight, most of us don’t have the luxury of diving into such intricacies. However, the essence of the term remains relevant, even if its boundaries aren’t clearly defined.
In short, mansplaining occurs when a man, whether intentionally or not, assumes a woman needs something explained to her, even when she doesn’t. This behavior can stem from a condescending attitude, cluelessness, or even blatant sexism. Not all mansplainers are malicious, but some certainly fit the bill. The term broadly captures a range of dismissive interactions, often accompanied by the collective exasperation of women everywhere.
Recently, at a local art exhibit, a man approached my colleague Sarah and requested a poem about Albert Einstein. He went on to provide an extensive, drawn-out explanation of who Einstein was and his contributions to science. In another instance, a man declined a request for a poem about the Marvel universe, implying that my knowledge was insufficient due to my gender. These men were friendly, blissfully unaware of their patronizing behavior, yet they became defensive when we pointed out that women can, indeed, grasp the complexities of the world.
So, here’s a handy guide for when you, my fellow women, encounter these clueless gents. This also serves as a tool for when men try to “mansplain” mansplaining, insisting they’re not being patronizing at all.
EXAMPLE 1
You ask friends for book recommendations, and a mansplainer dives into an exhaustive history of literature before suggesting a title.
MANSPLAINER: “I wasn’t being condescending; I was just answering your question about good books.”
YOU: “A proper answer would be, ‘Here are some books I enjoyed; you might like them too.’ Instead, you gave me a lecture on literary genres as if I needed an education.”
EXAMPLE 2
During a conversation about mansplaining, a man interrupts.
MAN: “But women can over-explain things too! I’ve been afflicted by ‘womansplainers’!”
YOU: “No, ‘womansplaining’ isn’t a real phenomenon. Sure, anyone can be condescending, but women experience this dismissive behavior every day due to systemic sexism. When women over-explain, it is often met with immediate backlash, unlike the consistent dismissal we face.”
EXAMPLE 3
A man feels hurt after you label him a mansplainer.
MAN: “I wasn’t implying you’re less intelligent; I was just trying to help you understand how to jumpstart a car!”
YOU: “I appreciate your concern, but I didn’t ask for an explanation. Your assumption that I needed guidance on car mechanics reinforces a damaging belief that women inherently know less. This pervasive mindset contributes to the ongoing struggles women face in gaining equal recognition and pay.”
EXAMPLE 4
A man, clearly frustrated, dismisses your concerns.
MANSPLAINER: “I don’t think mansplaining is real! If you’d just relax, we could all get along better.”
YOU: [*Breathe deeply, resist the urge to react violently.*] It’s a challenge to explain the importance of awareness in these interactions—but you appreciate the effort.
This guide aims to equip you for similar encounters. Remember, whether you’re engaging with a friendly neighbor or a colleague, you deserve respect and acknowledgment of your intelligence and experiences.
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In summary, recognizing and responding to mansplaining is crucial. Women should feel empowered to assert their knowledge and experiences without being undermined.