Let’s be clear: I have no desire to relive my early twenties. The thought of returning to that time, fraught with immaturity, low self-esteem, unpaid bills, and a series of questionable romantic choices, feels overwhelming. Back then, I endured endless hangovers and the gnawing anxiety that I’d never find my path as a writer or manage to pay rent on time.
Yet, I find myself feeling a tinge of nostalgia. My life has turned out quite well—better than I could have imagined, really. But still, I can’t shake the feeling that perhaps the most exciting chapters are behind me. I had some unforgettable moments, didn’t I? Now, everything seems so… settled. A decent job, a wonderful partner, two fantastic kids, and a charming home with a modern kitchen. Plus, a quirky dog to round it all out. But here’s what’s been weighing on my mind:
- The thought of my approaching high school reunion is enough to make me feel uneasy. Thirty years? How can that be? It’s not just the parade of familiar faces from my past that troubles me; it’s the realization that the music of my youth is now retro, and the fashion trends of my teenage years have made a comeback. I graduated in 1995, thankfully before social media made documenting everything a requirement.
- I finally caved and joined Twitter because a colleague insisted I should. What’s the deal with everyone needing to build an online presence? Why are we chasing followers, most of whom are total strangers? At least Facebook feels like a space for “friends” to exchange photos and witty banter, a bit like those days spent hanging out in the college lounge. Twitter, however, feels like a frantic race for fans and, even worse, notoriety. I’m left feeling ancient just trying to navigate its chaotic landscape. #IHateTwitter
- I find myself watching shows like “Girls” with a mix of admiration and annoyance. Am I the only woman in my forties who feels a pang of jealousy as I watch these characters live freely? Sure, they’re infuriating at times, but their adventures remind me of my own vibrant youth in New York, even if I never boasted hair like Jessa’s.
- I have a secret weakness for John Green’s novels. It’s telling when my precocious daughter, who devours books meant for older readers, argues with me over the same copy of “The Fault in Our Stars.” I’m the one left in tears after finishing it while she nonchalantly says, “It’s not that sad, Mom.” Thanks for the reality check.
- I’ve taken to stashing Bazooka gum and Blow Pops in the back of my kitchen cabinets. I joke with my husband, a die-hard Sopranos fan, that I’m channeling Ginny Sack, who hid candy to satisfy her cravings. Although I maintain a healthy lifestyle, I indulge in sugary treats like I did when I was a kid. Some habits are hard to break, even in adulthood.
- I regret not recognizing my own potential in my twenties. Only now do I understand the influence I had as a young woman in the media industry, which is often dominated by youth. Why did I let insecurity hold me back? Why was I always so polite?
- I’ve recently started snoring like an old train. My grandmother’s snores could rattle windows, and now it seems I’ve inherited that trait. Despite my commitment to fitness and healthy eating, my husband has had to wake me multiple times at night because of my newfound “talent.” Great, just great.
In conclusion, while adulthood has its perks—like stability and maturity—it also comes with its own set of challenges and realizations that can be quite jarring. From nostalgia to unexpected habits, it’s a mixed bag. For more insights on navigating adulthood and related topics, you can check out this excellent resource on infertility and home insemination.