From a young age, I have battled anxiety. As a child, I was constantly preoccupied with worries about school, friendships, and the fear of disapproval. During my teenage years, I developed various phobias, including a fear of flying and agoraphobia, compounded by the trauma of witnessing 9/11 firsthand in New York City, which led to symptoms of PTSD. Thanks to a skilled therapist, I learned effective strategies to manage my panic attacks.
Despite my efforts through cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation, and exercise, my anxiety still lingers, waiting for an opportunity to surface. However, one of my significant realizations as I’ve matured is that my anxiety is something I can accept as part of my identity, influenced by my family history. Surprisingly, I’ve discovered that alongside my anxiety lies an incredible energy that shapes who I am in wonderfully positive ways.
1. Imagination That Sparks Creativity
Sure, my vivid imagination can sometimes lead me to believe that the bus I’m riding is a target for disaster. But it also fuels my passion for writing and poetry. It inspires me to create delicious meals from kitchen leftovers and transforms mundane errands into exciting adventures with my children. I genuinely appreciate this creativity.
2. An Unwavering Drive for Excellence
Perfectionism is my constant companion (perhaps a bit too much!). While it is true that I experience anxiety when things go awry, it also means I am exceptionally dedicated. I take pride in doing every task to the best of my ability. My reliability and determination may occasionally frustrate others, but I remain focused on delivering quality results.
3. Profound Emotional Awareness
If you’re familiar with the story of “The Princess and the Pea,” you’d understand why it resonated with me as a child. I feel emotions deeply—not just my own but also those of others around me. While this can lead to overwhelming experiences, it also enhances my empathy. I embrace my emotions and express them openly.
4. A Heart for Humanity
My empathy extends far beyond my immediate circle. I find myself thinking about strangers I encounter and worrying about social issues. While losing sleep over every injustice isn’t ideal, it reflects my genuine care for others. I aspire to contribute positively to the world, seeking out ways to make a difference.
5. Every Day is an Act of Courage
There are days when anxiety feels insurmountable, making it challenging to step outside. Yet, I still manage to care for my kids, fulfill work obligations, and navigate life’s demands. In moments of self-doubt, I remind myself that simply showing up and doing what needs to be done is an act of bravery. Living with anxiety is not easy, but I take pride in my resilience.
While I would never wish anxiety on anyone, I can’t help but wonder what would happen if it disappeared entirely. Would the gifts that accompany it also vanish? I have come to realize that, despite its challenges, my anxiety helps shape me into the person I am today, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. If you’re interested in exploring more about anxiety or the journey of becoming a parent, check out this insightful post on intracervical insemination. And for anyone considering fertility options, Make a Mom offers great resources. For deeper insights into pregnancy and home insemination, UCSF provides excellent information.
In summary, while anxiety presents its own set of challenges, it also enriches my life in unexpected ways. It fuels my creativity, drives my desire for excellence, deepens my emotional connections, inspires compassion for others, and showcases my everyday bravery.