Can we talk about our sleeping arrangements? I find myself questioning how we ended up sharing this bed—our bed, which was once a cozy haven for just your father and me. Now, it’s a full house with two parents, two dogs, and three children all tangled together. While we are lucky to have separate beds for everyone, here we are, in a sleepy jumble. I’m reaching out to explain why this situation is less than ideal.
As your mother, I take great joy in fulfilling your needs, but let’s not forget—I have needs too! One of my top priorities is getting a decent night’s sleep. Remember those days when you were just a few months old and you slept through the night? Those were glorious times! I felt like I was spinning in a field of flowers, and life was simply better for everyone involved. My skin was glowing, and your dad wasn’t spending a fortune on coffee just to keep up.
Fast forward to the present, and our nights have morphed into a chaotic saga that feels more like a never-ending struggle than a serene escape. You’re all tired and cranky, and I am beyond exhausted.
A Typical Evening in Our Home
Allow me to break down a typical evening in our home for you. I’m using “you” to refer to all of you, as you seem to operate as a united front against sleep. Perhaps seeing your bedtime antics laid out might spark some understanding.
Here’s how it goes:
- Your dad and I tuck you into your cozy beds, say our goodnights, and gently close the door.
- Just 7½ minutes later, you’re charging down the stairs with something “super important” to share. I understand that it’s a big deal if someone put boogers on you, or if you can’t think of something that rhymes with “lettuce,” but those aren’t valid reasons to leave your room. Remember the rules: ONLY if you need to use the bathroom or are bleeding should you come out of your room.
- Eventually, you settle back in long enough for me to get comfy on the couch with a glass of wine and a captivating show. But, of course, you suddenly need to poop, which means I have to leave my cozy bubble to help you.
- You return to your room, only to pop back out 20 minutes later, wondering why morning seems so far away. We threaten to take your beloved stuffed animals if you don’t stay put.
- More time passes, and you’re back, feeling lonely because your sibling is already asleep. You manage to convince one of us to lie down next to you in your creaky, animal-laden bed until you doze off.
- By 11 p.m., I’ve given up on any semblance of “me time” and crawl into bed.
- Just when I finally drift off, the first child arrives right as I enter dreamland—usually around midnight or 1 a.m. You’re sleepy and adorable, so up you come into our bed. I cuddle you while you fall back asleep, but I remain wide awake, especially since your head has taken over my pillow!
- Suddenly, WHACK! A little foot kicks me in the face. Why are your feet in my face? There’s a designated space in the bed!
- The second child arrives between 3 and 4 a.m., which means more shifting and, unfortunately, waking up again.
- And just as my alarm is about to go off, the third child joins the mix. There is no room left, yet you squeeze in, head-butting me in the process! I end up getting kicked in the kidneys before finally surrendering and getting out of bed.
Can you see how wild this is, kiddos? I hope you realize it’s time for a change. Just one night of peaceful sleep would be such a blessing. At least consider it!
With love,
Mom
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Summary: This humorous piece reflects on the chaotic state of family sleep arrangements, highlighting a mother’s plea for a little peace during the night. She shares her experiences of bedtime struggles with her children, illustrating the challenges of parenting while yearning for much-needed rest.