My partner and I have shared a long journey together, and the bond we have is the cornerstone of our family. There are times when it seems like we’re merely co-managing a bustling household, where the kids come and go, needing our attention and care. Yet, there are also days when our connection is powerful enough to cut through the distractions of family life.
I haven’t established a strict hierarchy regarding who takes precedence in my life – I strive to meet everyone’s needs as best as I can. Each day brings its own challenges; sometimes one child requires more attention, occasionally my partner needs my time, and there are moments when I crave being the focus. And yes, on most days, the dog needs a walk too! My family is not a rigid structure based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
This is why I find it perplexing when some women assert that their husbands take priority over their children. I came across a post by Lisa Harper on another blog titled “Why I Will Always Put My Husband Before My Kids.” She argues that prioritizing her husband strengthens their marriage, setting an example for their children about healthy relationships; she believes her connection with her spouse should remain strong even after the kids have grown up and left home. While I resonate with those sentiments, I struggle with her declaration: “I love my kids but I love my husband more.”
I could never express that sentiment. I would never want to imply to my children that I love someone else more than them. Because the truth is, I don’t. Love isn’t a finite resource; it’s a boundless ocean without limitations. I can’t simply measure my love for my partner against my love for others. I can’t even pick a favorite flavor of ice cream!
My affection for my three kids, my partner, my parents, my sister, and my closest friends is unique to each relationship. Some days, it’s easier to show love to one person over another; some days an individual may require extra support, and there are days when I feel depleted but push through anyway. That’s the essence of family life – balancing everyone’s diverse needs and quirks.
The idea of choosing between my partner and my kids is a false dichotomy. My partner and I still cherish date nights and even manage solo getaways, despite not having committed that he is my number one priority.
Interestingly, a survey conducted by another site revealed that 48% of respondents believe wives should prioritize their husbands. This notion feels somewhat outdated and even a little strange. Did the survey ask if men should place their wives first? Probably not. It’s not a question we would typically pose to men. In our society, men are often seen prioritizing work or hobbies while it seems women are the only ones expected to rank their loved ones.
If you’re interested in exploring more about family dynamics and relationships, check out this post on intracervical insemination, which discusses the importance of nurturing connections. Additionally, Make a Mom provides valuable insights into fertility journeys. For trustworthy information on reproductive health, visit the CDC’s resource on infertility.
In summary, love isn’t a pie that we slice into pieces for distribution; it’s an expansive ocean in which we can swim freely. My family life is about balancing the varying needs of my loved ones without declaring one person as more important than another.