My darling baby boy, today marks your first birthday! It’s hard to believe a whole year has passed since you made your grand entrance into our lives. Those precious moments in the hospital, where I cradled you in my arms, bathed you gently, and nursed you with all the love I could muster, felt surreal. I was so enchanted by you that I told your dad it felt like I was on vacation. However, once we returned home to your energetic older brother, life quickly became a whirlwind.
I find myself feeling guilty for not giving you the first year you truly deserved. Every day, a part of me wishes I could turn back time. When your brother was born, I threw myself into motherhood with unmatched zeal. If parenting were an Olympic sport, I would have surely qualified! I enrolled him in every baby class imaginable, visited every kid-friendly museum, and spent countless hours singing, reading, and exploring the world with him. I aimed to enrich his life in every possible way.
I always envisioned doing the same for you, but somehow, that didn’t happen. I hope you’ve been paying attention as I read to your brother because I confess I hardly carve out time for one-on-one reading sessions with you. I’m pretty sure you don’t know the lyrics to “Wheels on the Bus” because I can never manage to finish the entire song. We’ve only made it to one baby class together, and we had to leave early so I could pick up your brother from preschool.
It pains me to think about every little bump and bruise you’ve gotten because I’m not always as attentive as I should be. Honestly, I often lose track of what you’re munching on off the floor, and I’m sincerely sorry for any dog food you may have tasted before I had a chance to intervene.
I do my best to make it up to you in small, meaningful ways. I sneak you into your brother’s room when he’s at school, and it becomes our little adventure. I sip my coffee while watching you explore a treasure trove of “big boy” toys that your brother would never allow you to touch. And yes, I let you have cake and goldfish crackers before you officially turned one—something I never dared to do with your brother!
Your infectious, gummy smile fills my heart with joy. I remember worrying during my pregnancy about whether I could love you as much as your brother. Those fears were unfounded. This past year has been a beautiful blur filled with toddler tantrums, sniffles, and sleepless nights, but it has also been overflowing with hugs, kisses, and snuggles.
While I may not be aiming for the supermom medal anymore, I promise to prioritize you more in your second year. With your brother’s arrival, I learned what it means to be a mother, and it was quite the journey. Now that I’ve had time to navigate this world, I feel more confident in who I am and what truly matters. I’m ready to focus on you and your happiness, my sweet boy, and that’s exactly what I intend to do.
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In summary, celebrating your first birthday is not just about marking a year but also reflecting on the joys and challenges of motherhood. I promise to be more present and engaged in your life as you grow.