Updated: Dec. 20, 2015
Originally Published: April 27, 2015
As our five children grew older, the experiences we once thought were reserved for the young started to feel accessible. We could spontaneously head out for dinners and happy hours, leaving our two teenagers in charge—something we hadn’t enjoyed since before we were old enough to enter those venues. It also became much easier to arrange weekend getaways while leaving the kids with relatives.
Approaching our mid-30s, each outing brought a mix of emotions: “Can you believe we’re finally doing this?” and “OMG, are we too old for this?” Thoughts began to swirl: Am I too old to party until last call? Too old to dance like no one’s watching? Too old to enjoy loud music? Too old to wear that cute dress? Too old to have this much fun?
I remember a night out in Las Vegas at 4 a.m. when I was 34. My partner, Sam, remarked, “We should enjoy this while we can because we won’t be doing this at 40.” I nodded, thinking that age limit felt overly cautious. But now, as I approach my 40s, those rigid boundaries I once held feel increasingly irrelevant.
Recently, Sam and I took a two-day trip to Las Vegas, where we attended a concert on the rooftop pool of the trendy Cosmopolitan Hotel. We dressed up, arrived early, and found a great spot. Suddenly, a crowd of twenty-somethings appeared, dressed similarly in jeans and shorts, as if summoned by an unseen force I could no longer tap into.
For a brief moment, I felt out of place in my little black dress, but I decided to push my insecurities aside and fully embrace the moment. We danced, sang, and paid an outrageous $16.50 for drinks, leaving early to ensure a good night’s sleep. In the past, I would have felt the need to stay until the lights came on just because I could; but now, I recognize the value of not overdoing it.
Last weekend, I enjoyed a getaway with my two best friends from high school, Tara and Kelly. Together, we have ten kids and had never traveled away for more than one night. To celebrate Tara’s birthday, we booked budget flights to Florida and stayed with my mother-in-law in a retirement community on the Gulf.
In the weeks leading up to our trip, we playfully dubbed it our DGAF (don’t give a f***) weekend. Who cares about back fat in a swimsuit? DGAF. Unsure if our shoes matched our outfits? DGAF. Mimosas for breakfast? Absolutely—DGAF!
However, when we arrived at an ocean-side tiki bar and saw octogenarians truly enjoying themselves on the dance floor, our bravado wavered. “These folks could teach us a thing or two about DGAF,” Tara said.
I’ve come a long way since I used to fixate on the younger crowd, worrying that I was crossing into “pathetic” territory. Now, I find myself inspired by those ten years my senior—like the lively late-40-somethings who have a blast without caring what others think. I can be like that too, I tell myself—partly confident, partly hopeful. I don’t need to stop having fun just because I reach a certain age. Right?
The lively seniors on the dance floor solidified it for me: Absolutely right. Sure, there are things that may not be suitable for a 37-year-old to do, say, or wear. But I’ve already stopped doing those things a while ago. In situations like the Vegas concert, I couldn’t pretend to be in my twenties anymore, and honestly, I’ve learned to tune into my own wavelength.
Embracing age isn’t solely about what you can no longer do; it’s about all the new opportunities that arise. You can show up at events in comfy shoes instead of painful stilettos because you’ve stopped obsessing over others’ opinions (and you’ll be able to walk without limping). You can afford real vacations now. You can decide to leave the party early or stay up late without feeling guilty.
The only limits that exist are those set by your own body, mind, and the degree to which you care about others’ judgments regarding your outfit or age. I’ve packed a lot of enjoyment into the last several years, and I have no intention of slowing down now. I’m beginning to feel less anxious about my “expiration date.” There will always be opportunities to dance the night away—whether I’m 40, 60, or even 80, rocking a bikini on the dance floor.
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Summary:
Aging doesn’t have to mean giving up on fun and adventure. As we grow older, we can embrace new opportunities, shed insecurities, and redefine what it means to enjoy life at any age. The key is to focus on what brings joy rather than worrying about judgments or expectations based on age.