Your cart is currently empty!
The Essential Conversation I Cherish With My Daughter
There we were, my 11-year-old daughter, Emma, and I, sitting in the bustling lunchroom of her elementary school dressed in our pajamas, as the delicious aroma of freshly-delivered pizza filled the air. We were surrounded by about 30 lively fifth-grade girls and their 30 quietly anxious parents. Dubbed “Girls Night Out,” this event aimed to provide insight into growing up, including the changes that would soon occur in the girls’ lives and bodies. If you’re a parent, you might recognize this as “the talk”—the moment when a dad comes to terms with the fact that his little girl is no longer a baby and that the teenage years are fast approaching.
You may wonder why I, as a father, decided to take Emma to an event primarily for girls and their mothers. The answer is simple: Emma invited me. When my daughter trusts me enough to ask for my support at a potentially uncomfortable event, it’s a sign of the bond I want to nurture. This trust is vital for our communication as she continues to grow.
As mothers and daughters filled the remaining seats, the curious looks and side-eyes were unmistakable. In any other situation, I might have felt out of place, but not that night. I was there for Emma. After an awkward icebreaker where we asked each other questions about the female menstrual cycle, we watched an informational video that felt like it was from the 1980s. The characters clumsily discussed topics like breasts, body hair, and the female reproductive system, and the room was filled with nervous laughter from the girls, heightening the already palpable tension.
Following the video, the girls had the opportunity to ask questions. Some bravely spoke up, while others opted to submit their inquiries anonymously. The questions were genuine and filled with curiosity about their upcoming changes. Despite the giggles, they approached the topic with impressive bravery.
However, the reactions from the adults were another story; many were visibly uncomfortable, whispering to one another, and some appeared desperate to escape the awkwardness of discussing puberty and menstruation in an elementary school cafeteria. It was then that I decided to speak up for Emma’s sake.
I expressed that if I, as a parent, treated these topics like taboos, how could I expect her to feel comfortable discussing them with me? I wanted Emma to understand that menstruation is a normal part of life. So, I dove into the topic of periods, estimating the amount of blood a girl might lose during her cycle and explaining that they typically last three to seven days. I shared that a usual cycle spans about 28 days and discussed the importance of tracking these cycles.
I reassured Emma that she might feel irritable just before her period, which is completely normal. I didn’t shy away from telling her that she could start her period soon or even years later, but regardless of when it happens, she is perfectly normal, and her mother and I will always be there for her questions. I also promised to help her with purchasing tampons or pads whenever she needed, while emphasizing that any boy worth her time would be supportive and not ashamed of her natural processes.
It’s time for fathers to step up and play a more active role in helping their daughters embrace who they are. We need to stop treating menstruation and puberty as if they are shameful secrets. Our daughters should feel valued and understood, not like they’re hiding something to be embarrassed about.
For those interested in more about pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from the CDC. If you want to know more about self insemination options, visit this authority on the topic.
In summary, the conversation I had with Emma about periods is one I will always cherish. It was an opportunity for us to bond, communicate openly, and normalize discussions surrounding natural changes in her body. This experience reinforced the importance of parental involvement in a child’s journey toward self-acceptance and understanding.