My foray into OkCupid wasn’t the most thought-out decision. After a year of enjoying my single life, free from romantic distractions, I had no interest in dating. Friends attempted to set me up, but I found the whole idea tiresome. Following a lengthy relationship that ended in divorce and another four years with someone who was a poor fit, I was ready to embrace a quieter life. My plan was to adopt more cats, pick up tennis, and learn to crochet—and I was succeeding. I even joined a doubles league and crafted a scarf (the cat adoption would have to wait). I spent quality time with my kids, reconnected with old friends, and tackled a stack of unread books. Life was good, yet I felt a lack of excitement.
So, when a friend enthusiastically shared their positive experiences on OkCupid, I decided to dip my toes into the dating pool. I thought a few casual dates could be fun—nothing serious. I began signing up one Sunday afternoon, managing to choose a username and upload a photo before heading out for a few hours.
Upon returning home, I discovered eight messages and 78 likes based solely on a blurry image of me without my kids. The messages varied from genuine compliments (“You have a beautiful smile! I’d love to get to know you”) to unsettling propositions (“Hey beautiful, when can I come over?”). I decided to add more pictures and began answering OkCupid’s extensive questions designed to refine their matching algorithm. The questions ranged from benign (“Can you date someone who is messy?”) to quite personal (“How often do you…you know?”). Thankfully, I had the option to skip questions I preferred not to answer. I completed roughly 30 and skipped a dozen.
By bedtime, I had received another 10 messages. To my dismay, it seemed most had not even glanced at my profile. Even stranger, a significant number had a “50% or higher Enemy” ranking, suggesting we had conflicting answers to the matching questions. Despite seeing many profiles with higher compatibility scores, my interactions were primarily with those marked as “enemies.”
Monday morning brought even more messages (one particularly memorable note was from an older gentleman named Jim, who signed off with, “Jim cares”) and another 50 likes. Curious about the “like” feature, I learned that if you like someone who reciprocates, you receive a prompt encouraging you to connect. I liked a handful of profiles and managed one match—a single dad interested in music. I made a note to reach out.
While exploring profiles, I stumbled upon a familiar face from college. We had been in the same entering class but hadn’t really interacted. I quickly sent him a message saying, “Hey, I think we recognize each other,” then headed to work. He responded promptly, and we arranged to meet for drinks a few days later. Exciting! I was unsure if it was a date or merely two acquaintances catching up.
Determined to give online dating a fair chance, I messaged the single dad and three others who didn’t seem like potential serial killers. Unlike the uninspired messages I received, I aimed to make mine engaging and relevant. Only the single dad replied. While our exchanges were pleasant, I sensed he wasn’t keen on meeting in person, which left me feeling a bit frustrated.
By the next day, I had accumulated over 200 likes and 43 messages. Flattering, sure, but I was growing weary of the superficiality and lack of effort from my admirers. I understood the numbers game—send out 20 messages, get a few responses, and possibly secure a date—but I was uncertain about investing that kind of energy.
After receiving a series of increasingly disturbing messages from one gentleman, I decided to temporarily disable my profile. I’m sure there are genuinely nice guys on OkCupid; my college friend was proof of that, as was a friend of his who recently married someone he met on the platform. But, I wasn’t making the connections I hoped for.
Ultimately, my brief experience on OkCupid wasn’t a total loss. My college friend and I had a great first date, which undeniably felt like a date. He’s even cooking dinner for me this weekend. Plus, my time on OkCupid provided intriguing insights about online dating dynamics:
- Men in their forties often prefer dating women 10-15 years younger, likely due to aspirations for marriage and children.
- Men of all ages seem to believe women are primarily interested in their physical attributes. Gentlemen, take note: if I want to see you undressed, you’ll be the first to know—until then, keep it covered.
- Older men with beards seem to find me particularly attractive, but I prefer dating those closer to my own age—beards are optional.
- Many guys overlook what women express they’re seeking or their compatibility scores; if you respond, you’re automatically considered a match.
I’m not giving up on online dating entirely. There’s an exhilarating thrill in discovering other singles seeking their perfect match. However, I think a platform like Coffee Meets Bagel might better suit my preferences, as it provides one daily match and limits profile browsing until you express mutual interest.
In summary, my brief stint with OkCupid offered valuable lessons and a fun reunion, but it also highlighted the challenges of online dating. If you’re curious about exploring home insemination options, check out this insightful post here. And if you’re looking for expert advice on at-home insemination, CryoBaby is a great resource. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, I highly recommend visiting this excellent resource.