As I stand at the end of the street, I watch for the bright yellow school bus making its way around the corner. Once it pulls up, I know my daughter Mia will soon be stepping off, backpack in tow.
When Mia, my 9-year-old, hops off the bus, she tosses her backpack at me with a playful hurl. It may come off as impolite to an outsider, but it’s become part of our little game—me trying to catch the bag and dodge a potential hit to the head. Inside, it’s packed with books and her cello.
“I know five bad words,” she announces proudly.
“Oh really?” I respond, a bit taken aback. The thought of her using any of them sends shivers down my spine. “What are they?”
“I’d never say them,” she assures me.
“That’s a relief,” I reply, pleasantly surprised by her answer. “How did you come to learn these words?”
“The bus,” she explains. “And school, but mostly the bus.”
“Can you tell me what letters they start with?”
“Sure! S… F… D… B… and H…”
While S and F are easy enough to guess, I didn’t realize that words like damn, bitch, and hell were still considered taboo. As adults, we often become desensitized to language. After years spent in a corporate environment, I can honestly say that few words would make me flinch.
It’s interesting to think about how the power of swear words has shifted over time. For instance, in the classic film Gone With the Wind, Clark Gable’s famous line almost got edited because of the word “damn.” Back in 1939, it was seen as a big deal. Fast forward to 1972, when comedian George Carlin highlighted seven words you could never say on television—none of which included “damn.” Today, it seems like the restrictions have loosened significantly.
I remember the first time I heard bad language on the playground. It was exciting, even if I didn’t fully understand what it meant. I wonder if Mia feels that same thrill. Reflecting on my own childhood, I cringe at some of the hurtful names we tossed around. I can only imagine how I’d react if someone made Mia cry.
A few weeks later, we find ourselves lounging on the couch, watching Full House. I owe an apology to all those I teased for enjoying that show—it’s actually wholesome entertainment! In one episode, characters get into a spat, resulting in one calling the other a “geek-burger,” which was apparently the harshest insult the writers could conjure.
“Hey Mia,” I say, “Am I a geek-burger?”
She nods, not looking away from the screen. I chuckle and pause the show.
“Mia, I’m glad you don’t use bad words, but I’d be more upset if you ever said anything mean.”
“What do you mean?” she asks, curious.
“Some words are deemed bad just because people don’t like them, but the truly hurtful words are the ones that damage feelings without cause.”
She nods, and I feel relieved that she understands, even if I still consider myself a bit of a geek-burger.
Conclusion
In conclusion, navigating the conversation about bad language with our children can be tricky. While it’s important to teach them the difference between swear words and hurtful words, fostering empathy should always take precedence.
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