Parenting can often feel like a never-ending balancing act, and even the most dedicated moms need a little break now and then. I’ve heard countless mothers say, “I’d give anything for a vacation,” and honestly, I completely understand. Whether we’re working professionals or stay-at-home parents, we all deserve some time to recharge. The idea of a girls’ getaway sounds like the perfect solution—spa visits, lounging by the pool, heartfelt conversations, and, of course, plenty of wine.
Excitedly, I approached my partner, Tom, about the idea. “You deserve it,” he encouraged. “Go enjoy some time with your friends.” With that encouragement, I excitedly crafted an email to my girlfriends, outlining a plan for a weekend filled with fun and relaxation.
However, my excitement quickly faded when I received their replies.
- “I’d love to join you, but I’ve never left my son overnight. I just don’t think I can manage it.”
- “That sounds amazing, but I can’t bear the thought of being away from my kids.”
- “Leaving my little one for a night might be too tough. How about just dinner instead?”
- “Honestly, I could never leave my kids for a weekend. Sorry!”
In an instant, my vision of a delightful weekend evaporated, replaced by a wave of self-doubt. Was it wrong for me to want a short break from my kids? Should I be with them every moment of the day? Did this mean I cared less for my children than other moms care for theirs?
Let me clarify: I’m not advocating for a monthly escape, but a weekend getaway once in a while? Absolutely!
Of all the reasons I could have for not going on a girls’ trip, I never anticipated that my greatest obstacle would be a lack of companions. While many moms may cite time, money, or childcare as barriers, I had the time (thanks to a long weekend off), the funds (which I’d been saving), and the support of my amazing husband.
One of my friends pointed out, “I really don’t know any moms who would feel comfortable leaving their kids for an entire weekend.” Ouch.
It seems that I was not only different from my small circle of mom friends, but perhaps a rare breed among mothers in general. This realization added to the weight of societal expectations surrounding parenting.
Yet, instead of feeling defensive, I began to embrace my perspective. I do love my kids, and just like every mom, I cherish those moments spent together. The few times I have taken a short trip away, I’ve felt a pang of sadness upon leaving and often found myself thinking about them the entire time.
Having different parenting styles and approaches doesn’t make any of us lesser mothers; it simply highlights the fact that what works for one might not work for another. Jumping to conclusions about parenting choices only adds more guilt for mothers who are already battling self-doubt.
It’s challenging to hear comments like, “I can’t believe you can be away from your kids like that!” (What does that say about me?), just as I’m sure others feel uneasy when they hear, “You’re really missing out by not leaving your kids” (What are you implying?).
So, does wanting a break from my kids mean I love them less? No. Love varies in its expression—what fulfills one mother may not resonate with another. For some, love means constant togetherness, while others might find joy in carving out space for themselves.
Ultimately, understanding that each of us loves our children in our own way doesn’t resolve the dilemma of planning a vacation. So, who’s up for a girls’ weekend?
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Summary:
Taking a break from parenting can feel daunting, especially when societal pressures make mothers question their choices. While some moms may feel uncomfortable leaving their kids, others see the value in self-care and time away. Every mother loves her children, but love can manifest in numerous ways. Embracing different parenting styles and seeking a balance can ultimately lead to happier families.