Another week, another dress code debacle. This time, a high school in Connecticut has decided to require pre-approval for girls’ prom dresses just one week before the big event. This policy leaves many students and their families in a bind after spending hundreds of dollars on outfits. If a teacher or principal deems a dress inappropriate—whether it exposes too much midriff, is strapless, or features cut-outs—those students could be out of luck. Parents and students are understandably upset, arguing that the dress code guidelines were not communicated ahead of prom shopping.
This incident is just the latest in a long line of dress code controversies that have emerged on social media in recent years. If you’ve been following along, you’ll notice a troubling pattern: it’s almost always about girls, never boys. For example, there was a case where a girl was sent home from prom because her short dress was deemed “distracting” to adult male chaperones. Other stories include students being punished for wearing leggings or yoga pants, or even a 5-year-old being told to cover up her spaghetti strap top.
Let’s face it: this is how many young women and girls choose to dress today. You may long for an era of circle skirts and cardigans, but even back then, women faced scrutiny for their attire. The reality is fashion evolves, and girls should be allowed to express themselves without fear of judgement.
If you find the way girls dress to be distracting, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your perspective. If you’re concerned that your sons will be sidetracked by a classmate’s outfit, consider enrolling them in all-boys schools. The issue isn’t about distraction; it’s about perpetuating outdated norms that dictate how women should present themselves. This policing of attire serves to reinforce the notion that a girl’s worth is tied to how she looks, taking away valuable mental space that should be used for learning.
Let’s be clear: this is a power struggle. Institutions often exert control over girls and women by dictating what is deemed appropriate attire. The result is a constant dance of trying to find a balance between what is considered “acceptable” and “flattering.” It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a girl to find something that is universally deemed appropriate.
So here’s a thought: let’s abolish dress codes altogether. If your child’s school has one, advocate for change. Why should anyone care so much about what girls wear? After all, the reality is that no outfit will ever be modest enough to prevent distractions. Clothing choices should be a conversation between kids and their parents, not something schools need to control.
Let’s shift the focus back to self-expression and away from policing. Even now, as an adult, I find myself worrying about whether my outfits are too young or too old, too flashy or too plain. This is the true issue: the mental clutter of trying to please everyone else with our appearance, which can detract from learning and personal growth.
In summary, it’s time to rethink the dress codes that stifle self-expression among girls. Rather than impose restrictions, schools should foster environments where young women can feel confident and free to dress in ways that reflect their individuality.
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