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Why Do Dads Receive Recognition for Tasks We Handle Daily?
When my partner and I first considered leaving the bustling streets of Manhattan, my primary worry centered on food. “We’ll be eating nothing but pizza and takeout!” I exclaimed. “Don’t worry, I’ll learn to cook!” he replied optimistically. And he did. Fast forward to today, and he’s the culinary wizard in our household, whipping up dinners while I dabble in baking for breakfast and dessert. I can manage a couple of easy lunches, but dinner is entirely his domain.
When people hear about this dynamic, they often treat him like a superhero. While I admire his culinary skills—especially since I can barely scramble an egg—I can’t help but wonder: would I earn the same accolades if I were in his shoes? Likely not.
Dad blogger Jake Thompson shared some insights on his experience in a recent piece for a parenting site. He initially felt his wife should appreciate him for getting up at night to care for their baby, as if he was performing an extraordinary feat. After some heated discussions, he recognized his mistake and took the time to apologize, realizing that such responsibilities should not be gendered.
This scenario isn’t exclusive to dads who aren’t fully aware of their roles. My husband is a genuinely involved partner in both parenting and managing our home, yet there are chores that seem to default to me without any discussion. This isn’t solely from him; it often comes from other parents, schools, and even healthcare providers. Sometimes, I even contribute to this narrative myself.
For instance, if one of our children falls ill at school, it’s always my phone that rings first. When birthday party invites circulate, I’m the go-to person. Planning summer activities? That’s on me too. When the kids wake up in the night, it’s usually me they call for help. I could provide countless examples, but the crux of my point extends beyond the typical narrative of women handling more in the household than men. There are countless articles discussing this, highlighting how far we’ve come, yet we still have a long way to go.
Here’s the bottom line: We want recognition too—just like the dads do.
I rise early to brew coffee, unload the dishwasher, prepare breakfast, and pack snacks for the kids. I ensure their clothes fit for each new season, stock up on school supplies, and buy birthday gifts for their friends. The list goes on, and I believe I deserve acknowledgment for my efforts.
When my husband notices when I’m overwhelmed and steps in to lighten my load, I express my gratitude. So why is it that my daily contributions are often taken for granted? Meanwhile, many fathers (not including my husband this time) seem to expect appreciation for their involvement.
The solution isn’t to stop praising dads; rather, we should recognize that managing a household—especially one with kids—is equally exhausting and demanding for all of us. We all deserve to be acknowledged for navigating the challenges of daily life, from school obligations to household maintenance.
Moreover, whether it’s the dad who stays up late waiting for their teen or the mom who wakes in the night for a crying baby, everyone should receive thanks for their contributions. Period.
In summary, the discussion around parental roles in the household is ongoing, and it’s vital for all parents to be recognized for their efforts, regardless of gender.