High Heels and Other Fashion Experiments Men Should Embrace

How charming! The organizers of the Cannes Film Festival have taken it upon themselves to ensure every woman understands the essence of style. That’s why they have mandated that any woman attending a red carpet event at this year’s festival must wear high heels. Yes, you heard that right: women, including the elderly and those unwell, were turned away from events and screenings if they dared wear flats. How generous of the festival to ensure we women arrive in a manner that is “tasteful,” as if the only way a woman can exude elegance is by precariously balancing on stilettos.

I must admit, I have a passion for shoes and am an avid high-heel enthusiast, but let’s face it—heels are incredibly uncomfortable and impractical. Living in Los Angeles, a lengthy walk can often be defined as the distance from the valet to the restaurant table. I love wearing high heels because I seldom have to walk in them. Drop me in a city where walking is a necessity, and I’ll trade my heels for ballet flats faster than you can say “Manolo Blahnik.” And at a film festival where I have to stand for hours, you can bet I’ll arrive in stylish and fully appropriate flats.

It dawned on me that perhaps the good folks at the Cannes Film Festival wouldn’t impose such a rule if they themselves had ever walked in heels. If these arbiters of fashion had experienced the struggle of teetering in a pair of designer heels, they might think differently—likely opting for something much more comfortable.

Fashion Experiences Men Should Try

In fact, there’s a whole array of women’s fashion that men would surely reconsider if they had to experience it themselves. Here are a few examples:

Spanx

Any man who wants his lady to have a smooth silhouette should experience wearing Spanx for a night. Sure, they can help shape your figure, but they also restrict circulation and make you feel like a stuffed sausage. Honestly, I’ll take “a little extra” over “can’t breathe” any day.

Underwire Bras

We need to invent a supportive undergarment for men. Imagine the experience of having underwire digging in all day! They could finally understand the discomfort women endure along with the dreaded “bra fat,” but in a different area altogether.

Dresses

Who decided that women should wear clothing that feels like a breeze from every angle? Men could really benefit from the ease of a dress instead of their constant adjustments and standing up to pee.

Makeup

Every man should try wearing mascara at least once to grasp why his partner sometimes tires of makeup. By the end of the day, those lashes could feel like cactus needles—if that cactus were poking into his eye. Fun times, right?

Skinny Jeans

Skinny jeans should really be labeled as “children’s clothing,” as only kids seem to fit comfortably into them. Most women can barely squeeze into them from the ankles up. Men should definitely experience the joy of numb calves for half a day—it’s only fair.

So, cheers to the Cannes Film Festival for dictating women’s wardrobe choices! Maybe next year, the tables will turn, and we’ll see leading men like Lucas and Noah navigating four-inch heels while sporting a supportive undergarment. Now that would be entertaining!

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In summary, the fashion expectations placed upon women, such as wearing high heels, should prompt men to walk a mile in our shoes—literally! It’s time for everyone to understand the uncomfortable realities of certain clothing choices.