The Mom Tribe Manifesto
Becoming a mother can feel like navigating the chaotic hallways of a high school cafeteria. The “put-together” moms, who somehow manage to dress and groom themselves daily, sit at one table. The breastfeeding advocates gather together, while those who choose formula sit in another corner. The sleep trainers trade tales at their table, while the co-sleepers sit alone, enjoying the rare chance to stretch out. The attachment parents are busy wearing their little ones at the far end. And everyone waits for the new mom to accidentally drop her lunch tray, ready to gasp and point out her missteps.
This imagery reflects the old-school “Mommy Wars” mentality, which unfairly reduces grown women to petty high schoolers. It’s a misguided notion that ignores the truth: we’re all mothers who haven’t had a warm meal in ages, and when we finally get a moment to speak, we’d rather not waste it on judgment, especially towards new moms.
The “us versus them” mentality is the exception, not the norm. When a seasoned mom sees a newcomer struggling with spilled Froot Loops, the look in her eyes isn’t judgment; it’s camaraderie and nostalgia. We’ve all been there, and if only we weren’t being urgently interrupted by the classic “Mommy! Please! Mooooom!” we’d say…
- It’s perfectly okay that your once-spotless car now resembles a graveyard for Goldfish crackers. Just yesterday, I discovered half a sandwich lurking under the seats.
- We admire your commitment to cooking healthy, organic meals from scratch, but don’t stress if you realize your kid’s diet consisted mostly of pickles and Nerds. It happens to the best of us.
- We agree that the unparalleled joy of having your baby nestled on your chest is better than any college high. And if you decide to skip a night out for cuddles, we’re right there with you.
- If you’ve ever contemplated buying a taxi cab, simply for the soundproofing, you’re not alone. We’ve all had those thoughts!
- Feeling emotional while packing away the nasal aspirators because your little one can finally blow her nose? Totally normal. Those milestones sneak up on you!
- Don’t think less of yourself if you give your clothes a sniff test before deciding to wash them. A little spit-up can be overlooked when running errands. You’re eco-friendly!
- Returning to the gym? We understand if it’s more about the childcare than the workout. We’ve seen them sanitize the baby swings, and it’s all good.
- Your homemade cleaning products are fantastic! Just know that we didn’t notice when you reached for Clorox during your little one’s first stomach virus. We thought you were exaggerating with “projectile.”
- Don’t doubt your strength just because you can’t pry a lollipop from your child’s hands. Nothing is more powerful than a baby holding candy!
- No judgment if you suggest a vasectomy as a birthday gift for you or your partner.
- Enjoy those rare moments of silence when your child interprets Time Out as a chance to play quietly. It’s a win-win!
- You still look fabulous even with Cheerios stuck in your scarf and chocolate on your cheek.
- We admire whatever you can come up with when your child asks about private parts in a public restroom stall.
- Telling your little one that their favorite character went on a long vacation? That’s called self-preservation, not lying.
- Still sporting a nursing bra even months after you’ve stopped breastfeeding? No shame in that game. One change at a time!
We could keep this list going forever because motherhood is the great equalizer. Instead of casting judgment, let’s find strength in numbers. And if you encounter someone who feels the need to criticize, just thank them for their “advice” while discreetly wiping your hands (which may or may not have traces of baby food) on your pants.
Welcome to the motherhood club!
For more insights on pregnancy and self-insemination, check out this excellent resource on Healthline. And if you want to learn about effective home insemination methods, visit Make a Mom.
Summary
This light-hearted piece offers a supportive and understanding perspective on the realities of motherhood. It emphasizes the shared experiences of moms, encouraging solidarity rather than judgment among parents. From messy cars to emotional milestones, the author highlights the beauty and struggles of motherhood with humor and camaraderie.