I can hardly believe it. Shorts season has always been a challenge for me. But this year? After so much effort in learning to love myself, it’s time to embrace it! Seriously, I’m ready.
Throughout the day, I became acutely aware of my body in ways I usually overlook. I felt the crease at my waist—an extra bit of skin that appeared after I had my son. I noticed how my thighs brushed against each other, just like they have since middle school. And every time I caught a glimpse of my reflection, I couldn’t help but feel disheartened by how large my upper arms appeared. By the end of the day, I was in a pretty bad mood. I was exhausted and felt like hiding under the covers forever.
Spring: The Season of Dieting
I think the struggle started around the age of 12. When it was time to wear shorts, I was uncomfortable with my appearance. I was in an adult size, yet I felt like a kid. That’s when I embarked on my first diet—a journey that lasted nearly two decades.
My Body Never Seemed Good Enough
I fluctuated between being heavier and lighter, but even at my thinnest, I still felt inadequate. No matter what size I achieved, I always found flaws to fix. I constantly battled the feeling of being “too fat.”
Understanding My Feelings
So, what was I really feeling when I put on those shorts and felt “fat”? It wasn’t just about size. It was about feeling unworthy, judged, and uncomfortable in my own skin—shameful and not okay with who I am.
A Moment of Realization
After feeling down for most of yesterday and today, I began to feel anger bubbling up. That anger often masks a deeper grief. The truth is, that 12-year-old girl inside me was perfect just as she was. Sure, she wore a size 10 while most girls were in juniors sizes, but she was just a child. I was just a child. It pains me to think of all the precious time I wasted obsessing over calories and running miles instead of enjoying the sunshine.
Finding Acceptance During Pregnancy
It was during my pregnancy that I finally appreciated my body. I was in awe of how it transformed to nurture my baby. For the first time, I felt like my body was doing something truly amazing. Breastfeeding was a bit more challenging when it came to body image, but I focused on the miracle of motherhood, which made it easier to cope.
Now, my “baby” is 32 months old. Am I still allowed to love my body when it’s not performing such a sacred task? Society often doesn’t embrace bodies like mine. There have been some positive changes, but try finding plus-size shorts without tummy control fabric—it’s frustrating and speaks volumes.
Taking a Stand
I have wasted far too much time worrying about my body since that day at 12 when I deemed it unworthy. I refuse to let my thighs or any other insecurity distract me from enjoying time with my toddler. Today, I’m declaring, “I Will Wear Shorts, and I Will Feel Beautiful.”
I’m joining the #takebackpostpartum movement, reclaiming my power and embracing my body just as it is with my own hashtag, #iwillwearshorts. Today, I’ll wear shorts on my walk to the park with my son. I will celebrate my strong legs, embrace the body I have, and be present in the moment, because I’m done wasting time hating myself.
Who’s with me? Who else will wear shorts and celebrate their bodies? For more insights, check out this post on home insemination.
Summary
In a heartfelt reflection, Clara Jensen shares her journey of self-acceptance and body positivity as she embraces wearing shorts despite past insecurities. She emphasizes the importance of reclaiming joy in motherhood and enjoying life, free from self-judgment. Clara encourages others to join her in celebrating their bodies. For more information on body positivity and self-acceptance, visit Kindbody and learn about home insemination kits at Make a Mom.