As a mom, I’ve found myself developing some quirks that my pre-baby self would have raised an eyebrow at. Despite my attempts with various therapies—like self-hypnosis, journaling, and an unhealthy obsession with chocolate—the allure of these mom habits remains strong. Here are 31 strange addictions that only moms can relate to:
- Discussing my child’s bodily fluids with anyone within earshot, even the friendly teenager at the grocery store who innocently asks about my day.
- Using silly cartoonish voices long after it has stopped being “developmentally beneficial” for my little one.
- Acting out in exaggerated ways, complete with funny noises, to coax a smile from my child for that perfect photo.
- Snatching up brightly colored plastic items whenever they’re on sale.
- Dollar Store shopping sprees (see #4).
- T.M.S.S. (Too Much Stuff Schlepping): “I need diapers, wipes, a changing pad, extra clothes, books for boredom, toys, the tablet—did I charge it? Snacks, water, hair ties… Wait, should I pack the kitchen sink too?”
- Binge-watching certain reality shows that somehow boost my confidence as a parent.
- Enjoying a glass of wine, whether it’s with a side of Bravo or solo.
- Coffee, coffee, and more coffee—preferably with a splash of coffee.
- Stealthily inhaling the scent of my child’s head when they’re not paying attention, embracing my inner weirdo.
- Searching for hidden innuendos in Disney movies, whether my kid is present or not.
- Online shopping—because who wants to brave the store with kids when there’s Amazon Prime?
- Attempting tie-dye and other crafts that briefly entertain the kids but end up consuming my sanity.
- Getting lost in mom blogs.
- Reading negative comments on those blogs and commiserating with fellow bloggers about the wild world of parenting.
- Extracting juicy dating stories from my single friends and secretly being glad I’m out of that chaotic scene.
- Talking about bodily fluids again (it’s just that relatable).
- Scrolling through Pinterest for inspiration.
- Constantly comparing my parenting to others, even when I know it’s a futile exercise.
- Wiping something off my child’s face and before I know it, it’s in my mouth. “Yup, that was definitely not chocolate.”
- The allure of Target—need I say more?
- Planning birthday parties that start as simple get-togethers but escalate into extravagant events with bouncy houses and bubble guns. “Who even brought the bubble guns?”
- Oversleeping? Ha! Just kidding—when does that ever happen?
- Sharing my birth story with unsuspecting pregnant women, whether they want to hear it or not.
- Swaying side to side in a rhythm that mimics “baby sleep” vibes.
- Trusting WebMD for every little symptom.
- Using my saliva to wipe something off my kid’s face when baby wipes are literally two feet away. (See #20.)
- Sneaking dessert into the bathroom to enjoy it without sharing.
- Adding “-ie” to almost every word. “Does baby want some egg-ies?” “Can mommy have a hug-ie?” “Ugh-ie.”
- My child’s love for macaroni and cheese, quesadillas, and grilled cheese. My hips are definitely mourning the day I introduced those cheesy delights.
- Ending my musings with heartwarming sentiments about motherhood.
In the end, these quirks are beautifully counterbalanced by my unwavering love for seeing my child’s smile, sharing laughter, and hugging away their tears.
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