“I’ve missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost nearly 300 games. On 26 occasions, I was entrusted with the game-winning shot and failed. I’ve faced repeated failures throughout my life. And that is why I succeed.” —Michael Jordan
“It’s impossible to go through life without failing at something, unless you choose to live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all — and that’s a failure in itself.” —J.K. Rowling
“Only those who are willing to fail greatly can ever achieve greatness.” —Robert F. Kennedy
However, there exists a more profound form of failure that can be much more painful, costly, and enlightening. It’s the experience of hitting rock bottom, where you find yourself overwhelmed and unable to pick up the pieces, only to rise anew from the ashes, much like a phoenix. Although it’s heart-wrenching when it occurs, this kind of setback often provides the exact jolt needed to reorient your life.
While exploring the invaluable lessons that arise from such crashes on Elite Daily, I learned about the resilience that develops from these experiences. You discover that hope persists even when it seems lost, that starting fresh is always an option, and that you eventually reach a pivotal moment where you can either wallow in your misfortune or harness it to begin anew. To reach this understanding, one usually has to endure a significant fall.
It pains me to think of my children facing such hardships, which is why I often refrain from discussing it with them. We can certainly prepare them for disappointments, even serious ones, but the notion of conveying that they might experience a major failure at some point in their lives—one that will hurt them yet ultimately lead to growth—is a tough pill to swallow. So is it feasible to prepare them for such events?
Perhaps they’d prefer to learn from the tales of famous figures like Walt Disney, who faced bankruptcy before heading to Los Angeles with just a suitcase containing a shirt, two pairs of underwear, two pairs of socks, and some drawing supplies. Or think of Colonel Sanders, who lived in his car after losing everything.
Yet, maybe it’s more impactful for them to learn from someone close to them, someone who hasn’t established an empire but has found genuine happiness—happiness they can observe firsthand. I’m their mom, the one who provides comfort and security, yet I experienced a significant downfall in my youth that left me feeling completely broken. It led to transformative changes in my life.
We strive to shield our children from life’s harsh realities, opting instead to showcase the brighter aspects of existence. However, I can’t shake the feeling that I might be neglecting an essential lesson by not sharing my own transformative crash with them. I recall feeling blindsided and overwhelmed, completely unaware that I wasn’t alone in my struggles. It took me far too long to comprehend the valuable lessons hidden within my experience. Given that, should I share my story with them? I believe so—when they’re ready, of course.
I hope they can grasp this when the time is right, and I hope to be there for them if they encounter their own setbacks. The guiding principle from the article that resonated with me was this: “It may be difficult to see now, but the chaos in your life might be just what you need,” Paul Hudson wrote on Elite Daily. “When we feel we have nothing left to lose, we tend to give life our all.”
While it’s tempting to shield our kids from failure, I increasingly recognize the value of revealing our own struggles and failures. Sharing these stories may provide them with a more profound lesson than anything else I could offer.
This article was originally published on May 27, 2015.
Summary
In teaching children about the importance of failure, it’s essential to share personal experiences of setbacks and resilience. While the instinct is often to protect them from pain, revealing our own struggles can offer valuable lessons that prepare them for life’s challenges. Embracing failures can lead to personal growth, reminding us that sometimes falling apart is the first step toward rebuilding.