It’s high time we shed light on one of the best-kept secrets of womanhood: perimenopause. This often-overlooked stage kicks in just before menopause, intensifying the challenges many women face. While we might all be aware of menopause and perhaps even dread it, many women don’t realize they’re experiencing perimenopause until it slaps them in the face—similar to a rogue stain on a crisp white shirt or an unexpected pitch from a friend trying to sell you on a multi-level marketing scheme.
Many moons ago, I first encountered the idea of perimenopause indirectly. Back in my twenties, I worked at a production studio. One day, an important client in her forties regaled us with an embarrassing story. During a business dinner with men, she suddenly sensed the arrival of “Aunt Flo.” Unprepared and panicked, she implored the men—including the restaurant manager—to help her find something to manage her impending visitor, but they were horrified.
“Ladies,” she exclaimed, arms wide for sympathy, “you know what it’s like when it’s about to hit? The urgency of getting what you need before it does?” My coworker and I exchanged confused glances, unsure how to relate to her plight.
Once she left, I turned to my partner and asked, “Was she really just talking about her period?” “Yup,” she replied, rolling her eyes. Back then, my own period was far from predictable, and I hadn’t yet grasped the depth of what perimenopause could bring. Now that I’m in my 40s, I finally understand the urgency and the chaos that can accompany this phase.
Looking back, I realize that my client was experiencing perimenopause—something I barely understood until very recently. Women often keep quiet about their struggles, only revealing their feelings to close friends when they begin to question their sanity, notice mood swings, or experience bizarre thoughts about inanimate objects.
Let’s face it—discussing periods post-teen years is a taboo. We resort to euphemisms like “Aunt Flo” or “shark week.” And heaven forbid you mention the term “menstrual cycle” out loud—people might faint! Meanwhile, companies tiptoe around the subject in their ads for feminine products.
Men aren’t too keen on the topic either. When I mentioned my article on perimenopause to my husband, he quipped, “Great! I’ll write about my itchy ball sack.” Charming, right?
Perimenopause is like a final crescendo in a symphony or the outrageous twists in a Fast and Furious film—bigger and more intense than ever. If only I could travel back in time and give that client the empathetic nod she deserved.
WebMD describes perimenopause as the transitional period leading to menopause, arising from declining estrogen levels. The symptoms are a delightful mix, including:
- Hot flashes
- Breast tenderness (and perhaps droopiness too?)
- Intensified PMS (yikes!)
- Reduced sex drive (as if parenting didn’t affect that already)
- Discomfort during intimacy (sigh)
- Fatigue (a.k.a. general crankiness)
- Irregular menstruation (like my client experienced)
- Vaginal dryness (no thanks!)
- Accidental leakage when laughing or sneezing (or even coughing!)
- Urgent bathroom trips (“I need to go—now!”)
- Mood swings (more crankiness, mixed with odd bursts of joy)
- Insomnia (as the big day approaches, I can rely on this one every night).
WebMD forgot to mention a fun bonus: teenage acne makes a comeback, typically around your jawline and neck. One of my friends lamented how unfair it is to deal with both wrinkles and acne at this stage. But hey, at least one part of your body can still look youthful, right?
The best part? This is just the beginning—an opening act before the main event that is menopause. For some, perimenopause lasts only a few months, while for others, it stretches out for a decade. It often strikes women in their 40s, but can begin in the 30s too.
If you’re like me, the very mention of “menopause” feels foreign, as if it’s something that happens to other women far in the future. Yet, I can’t deny that I recognize some of the symptoms (like crankiness and insomnia). The realization hit me recently during a heated debate with my son about whether Darth Maul survived being sliced in half in the first Star Wars prequel. Thankfully, I managed to take a “mommy time-out” before unleashing my inner “scruffy-looking Nerf herder” on him.
So, if you’ve felt just as blindsided by the onset of perimenopause as I did, share this article with your friends and coworkers. Make them chuckle or squirm with tales of lady parts. It’s time to illuminate this secret of womanhood. And while it’s easy to get lost in nostalgia for our youth, laughing about our experiences is far more productive—just don’t laugh too hard, or you may end up leaking!
Summary
Perimenopause is an often-overlooked phase that precedes menopause, bringing various symptoms such as hot flashes, mood swings, and irregular periods. Many women are unprepared for this stage and the conversations around it remain largely taboo. Understanding and sharing experiences about perimenopause can help demystify this natural transition and foster connections among women facing similar challenges.