As the mom of a spirited 11-year-old, I find myself revisiting some of the more challenging moments from my own adolescence—those experiences that were already tough the first time around. This time, however, I’m watching my daughter, Mia, navigate similar trials. I hope that my insights can help her through this tricky phase, but let’s be honest: how many tweens genuinely believe their mothers have the right answers?
1. The First Bra Shopping Experience
I can vividly recall the small dressing room at Lord and Taylor, the soft lighting mingling with elevator music while a well-meaning saleswoman fussed over me. My mom was outside, yelling, “How’s it going in there?” I felt like I was on display, and the fear of whether anyone would notice my new bra was overwhelming.
Fast forward to today, and here I am again, this time in Justice with Mia, who’s facing her own bra shopping journey. The ambiance has changed—brighter lights, the scent of One Direction perfume wafting through the air, and Taylor Swift’s catchy tunes blaring—but the feelings remain. I feel like I’m torturing her, and I’m sure she feels the same. As she protests, “It’s too tight!” and “I hate this!” I do my best to reassure her. After what feels like forever, we finally settle on a sporty style that we both can agree on, leaving the store feeling exhausted but victorious.
2. The Mean Girls Phenomenon
When my childhood friend, Lucy, decided to stop being my friend in sixth grade, it felt like my world was crumbling. I had no clue that this would only last a week, driven more by her emotions than any fault of my own. I can still feel the sting of those dreaded cafeteria moments.
Now, when Mia faces similar friendship woes, it hits close to home. When her best friend started to ignore her, I was blindsided by the flood of emotions. The adolescent part of me wanted to intervene, maybe even call her friend’s mom, but the adult me knew better. Instead, I advised Mia to treat her friend like she treats our cat, Oliver. When she chases him, he runs away, but when she ignores him, he jumps right into her lap. Luckily, it seems things are smoothing out for Mia and her friend—at least for now.
3. Navigating Preteen Boys
I have such cringeworthy memories of those awkward phone calls with boys back in fifth grade. It was both thrilling and embarrassing—what were we even supposed to talk about? Hearing Mia giggle on FaceTime with her crush, Alex, brings all those feelings rushing back. Their conversations are filled with nervous questions and long pauses, and I can’t help but wince a little at the awkwardness. She proudly tells me he’s her “boyfriend,” which, to her, means they walk together between classes. I wish I knew how to guide her through this, but I still feel like I’m figuring it out at 45!
4. Having “The Talk”
Sitting down with Mia for our chat about growing up was just as mortifying as I remembered it. I had hoped it would be smoother than my own experience, where my mom handed me a book and we had a quick, awkward discussion. But, of course, Mia squirmed just like I did. Despite the health classes she’d taken, this conversation was still uncomfortable. I did my best to assure her that our dialogue could continue, and she could ask me anything. Now I’m left wondering what questions she’ll have next.
5. The Rollercoaster of Puberty
Ah, puberty—the classic checklist of breakouts, mood swings, body changes, and the impending arrival of “that time of the month.” I’m riding this emotional wave with Mia all over again. My goal is to approach this phase delicately, so instead of pointing out her changes, I quietly provide her with skincare products and give her the privacy she needs. When she expresses discomfort about her body, I simply offer support without drawing attention to her worries.
Navigating these experiences with Mia reminds me of my own adolescent trials, but it also deepens our connection. For more insights on parenthood, you might enjoy checking out this other blog post as well as this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, revisiting my own adolescent struggles while guiding Mia through hers has been a revealing journey of empathy and understanding. It’s a mix of nostalgia and growth, as I strive to support her through this challenging yet exciting phase of life.