Updated: Aug. 13, 2015
Originally Published: May 30, 2015
Take a moment to pause and think back to your own childhood. What’s the happiest memory that comes to mind? What were you engaged in, and who were you with?
If you’re like many, those joyful recollections likely revolve around adventures with friends rather than family outings. Michael Thompson, PhD, author of Homesick and Happy: How Time Away From Parents Can Help a Child Grow, often finds that only about 20 percent of adults recall family trips or festive occasions. The overwhelming majority—around 80 percent—fondly remember escapades with peers, discovering new experiences, and enjoying their independence away from parental supervision.
Yes, away from us.
As I reflect on Thompson’s insightful book, I’m reminded of my own daughter, Lily, who is preparing for her first sleepaway camp adventure. Just like her, I attended sleepaway camp after completing fourth grade, and it was one of the highlights of my youth. The laughter, the friendships, the thrilling canoe trips, and of course, the delightful s’mores! While I’m excited for Lily, I can’t help but feel a flutter of anxiety. What if she finds it unbearable? What if she absolutely loves it?
My mother once shared that my summer camp experience opened her eyes to the reality that parenting doesn’t always involve a constant need for attention. At the time, I didn’t grasp what she meant, but now it resonates deeply. My little girl has transformed from a dependent infant to an independent child ready to spend two weeks at camp (with plenty of caring adults around, of course). This year, it was Lily who expressed the desire to go to camp, inspired by my own fond memories of those summers.
Isn’t this what we aim for? For our children to embrace independence and take those essential steps toward carving their own paths in life? Thompson argues convincingly that time away from home and school fosters resilience and equips children with vital life skills. He emphasizes that while we cannot shield our children from every danger, we can give them the invaluable gift of freedom from our constant watchfulness. As he wisely notes, “We cannot keep our children perfectly safe, but we can drive them crazy trying.”
There’s a chance Lily will arrive at camp and, within days, feel so homesick that she’ll want to return home. I’m prepared for that scenario. However, I also need to brace myself for the possibility that she’ll enjoy it so much that she may feel upset, or even angry, when it’s time to leave.
During those July days, as I anxiously await news and worry with every ringing phone, I realize that my daughter might not be thinking of me at all. And that’s perfectly fine. I hope those two weeks bring her joy and freedom, even if they are a bittersweet time for me.
This article was originally published on May 30, 2015.
Summary
Encouraging children to experience time away from their parents, like attending sleepaway camp, fosters independence and resilience. Author Michael Thompson emphasizes that such experiences are crucial for growth, allowing children to explore the world and develop essential life skills.