As the school year winds down, I find myself eagerly anticipating summer break, just like my sixth grader. It’s a well-known fact that parents often need that break just as much as the kids do. I definitely do.
I have two children: my eldest, Emma, is 11 and about to transition to middle school, while my youngest, Jake, is 9. Since Emma started kindergarten back in 2012, I’ve actively volunteered at their school events and extracurricular activities.
No one has ever forced me to help out; I do it because I genuinely want to be involved in my children’s education and enjoy the sense of community. As a work-from-home parent, I sometimes feel a sense of guilt if I’m not busy contributing. Volunteering seemed like the perfect way to counteract that feeling of idleness, especially since our public schools are so reliant on parental support.
But volunteering can also feel like a burden.
At the first elementary school my kids attended—a small institution in a quaint district—parent involvement was highly encouraged, and there was a strong sense of partnership among parents and teachers. Many families, even those with demanding jobs, carved out time to contribute at least once a month, and I tracked those hours as the PTA historian.
During those years, I took on numerous roles. As an enthusiastic first-time kindergarten parent, I eagerly signed up for everything that piqued my interest. I attended PTA meetings, served on the board, became a room parent, helped create the yearbook, and even coached an after-school group for girls, despite not having any daughters! By the time Emma was finishing fourth grade, I was juggling volunteer work along with a part-time job as a writing tutor. The enjoyment I initially found started to fade, and I realized I could no longer keep up with the demands.
Then we moved to a new school with a different volunteer culture. To better integrate myself, I found myself overcommitting again, which led me to the world of robotics.
Robotics was, without a doubt, one of the most challenging volunteer experiences I’ve had. With minimal knowledge of engineering and having never taken any scientific courses beyond basic math in college, I reluctantly took on the role of coaching a First Lego League team. I didn’t want to volunteer, but it was the only way for Jake to participate.
The assurance from a more experienced coach that it would be manageable proved misleading. My co-coach and I faced numerous challenges, relying mostly on trial and error to guide the kids through programming hurdles. Despite the kids’ enthusiasm and the eventual fun they had at the competition, I couldn’t shake the feeling that with a better-qualified coach, they might have learned more.
My experience with the new school’s PTA was similarly disappointing. The teachers didn’t utilize parent volunteers in the same way as my previous school. This year, I returned to robotics just to allow more kids to participate, but I stepped back from classroom volunteering and PTA. This spring, I coached track, where my 20-plus years of running experience allowed me to provide genuine guidance. That felt rewarding!
Looking back, I realized that I often felt like I was failing the kids, especially in robotics. No parent should feel pressured to volunteer for something that drains the joy out of helping. Our public schools desperately need parent involvement, especially amid budget cuts. Many parents may feel compelled to sign up for everything, and while some thrive on that, I learned the hard way that it’s essential to focus on what truly brings joy.
As my kids move on to new schools next year, I’m planning to attend a few PTA meetings but won’t feel guilty about not jumping into every opportunity. “Do what you love, love what you do” may sound cliché, but it rings true in the world of volunteering. From now on, I’ll focus on activities that I genuinely enjoy.
And if anyone figures out what the Wellness Committee does, I’d love to know—I can be found at the track!
In conclusion, while I cherish the memories and friendships formed through volunteering, I’ve decided to prioritize my time and energy on causes that truly resonate with me.
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