I’ve always leaned towards being a Lloyd girl, but I decided to give Jake another chance. So, I compared these two iconic boyfriends to determine who truly deserves my heart. After rewatching Sixteen Candles and Say Anything, here’s how they stack up now that I have a bit more life experience.
Wheels
You’d think this is a no-brainer, right? Jake’s flashy red Porsche seems unbeatable compared to Lloyd’s humble Malibu. But hold on—I’d much prefer a cozy ride in the spacious back of a Malibu.
How They Treat Women
Jake hands off his passed-out girlfriend to the Geek like she’s yesterday’s trash. Major red flag there! In contrast, Lloyd looks out for Diane, even pointing out broken glass to protect her, and he volunteers at a nursing home. This round goes to Lloyd.
Friends
Jake rolls with a crew of nameless jock types, which isn’t exactly winning him any points. Meanwhile, Lloyd’s best friends are supportive women who enjoy heartfelt conversations. I prefer a mix of both, so this one ends in a draw.
How They Party
While his parents’ house is being wrecked, Jake isolates himself in his room. Lloyd, on the other hand, is the designated driver, ensuring everyone gets home safe. Responsible wins this round.
Financial Security
Jake’s family boasts a mansion complete with an exercise room and luxury cars. Lloyd crashes at his sister’s place and is somewhat directionless in his career, although he does teach kickboxing. It’s tough to choose between rich and self-motivated, but I have to give this one to Jake for his financial stability.
Style
Jake’s wardrobe, filled with sweater vests and plaid, lacks flair. Lloyd’s eclectic look—a Clash T-shirt paired with odd track pants and a trench coat—might be quirky, but it’s definitely more memorable. Round goes to Lloyd for creativity!
Personality
Jake has a bit of a blank slate vibe, which could bore Samantha quickly. In contrast, Lloyd is genuine and makes Diane laugh, always being true to himself. I’m drawn to vulnerability, so this one goes to Lloyd.
Character
Jake checks out Sam before even breaking up with his girlfriend, and allows his friends to trash his house. Lloyd, however, pursues Diane relentlessly even after she rejects him. I can’t see Jake as a good person, and I refuse to be swayed by his perfect hair. Another win for Lloyd.
Motive
Jake is tired of partying and looks for something serious. Lloyd is infatuated with Diane, focusing primarily on her beauty. Jake gets some points for wanting something deeper, but does it help him catch up?
Handling Stress
Jake tends to slam doors, while Lloyd takes a contemplative drive in the rain. This round is a tie—no clear winner here.
Epic Gestures
Playing “your song” outside a window or crashing a wedding? Definitely, the boom box over head wins this one. It’s a classic Dobler move!
The Conclusion
Jake has it all but believes he needs someone to complete him. Lloyd, meanwhile, is trying to figure out his path in life, but his heart is set on you. Talk about pressure!
The Final Decision
Both guys encapsulate the fantasy of being chosen. It’s thrilling to be seen by someone outside your usual circle, whether they’re a secret crush or a total surprise. Jake might be a decent guy, but he could take a page from Corey’s book: “Don’t be a guy. Be a man.” And in this contest, the man who wins my heart every time with a knockout punch is Lloyd Parker.
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Summary
In the epic showdown between Jake Hunter and Lloyd Parker, personality, character, and genuine affection take precedence over wealth and social status. Ultimately, Lloyd’s endearing qualities and authenticity win over Jake’s superficial charm.