Every parent knows the undeniable truth of raising kids: at some point, you will definitely encounter the three P’s—Poop, Pee, and Puke. We’ve all faced those moments, whether it’s scrubbing down the couch after a diaper disaster or dodging projectile snot that could rival a scene from a ghost-hunting movie. But what I didn’t realize was that motherhood comes with a whole list of tasks that seemingly only moms can manage.
Here are some of my unique Mommy Skills:
- Checking Pockets Before Laundry: If I don’t check, I’m the one left dealing with a laundry disaster caused by a melted Chapstick.
- Filling the Laundry Basket: My family excels at leaving clothes right next to the basket but never actually putting them inside.
- Mastering the Underwear Removal Technique: Learning to take off pants first is a necessary skill for summer school, as the laundry often turns into a tangled obstacle course of clothing.
- Dishwasher Duties: The intricacies of loading the dishwasher are a mystery to many in my household. Thank goodness I’m here to guide them through the proper placement of cups and plates!
- Cleaning Up After Meals: After I cook, somehow the effort of moving dishes from the table to the sink is too much for my family to handle.
- Picking Up Tissues: Whether it’s random tissues littering the floor or a towering stack of used Puffs on the table, I’m the designated cleanup crew.
- Restocking Shower Supplies: Apparently, walking a few feet to replace the soap is a monumental task for my family, leading to creative bathing solutions involving shampoo.
- Gathering Outdoor Toys: It seems that once everything is taken outside, the energy to bring it back in evaporates.
- Recycling Half-Finished Water Bottles: Collecting these bottles and properly disposing of them can be a challenge, as my family often can’t decide which bin is appropriate.
- Hanging Up Coats and Bags: The hooks are just a few feet away, yet somehow my family prefers to leave their items right by the door instead.
- Toilet Paper Replacement: The challenge of replacing toilet paper on the holder instead of leaving it on the counter is a lesson I’ll be teaching this summer.
- Flushing Toilets: Teaching my kids to flush is proving to be as difficult as teaching a cat to fetch. We’ll be hosting a summer school session on this essential skill.
- Toothpaste Cleanup: While I should be happy they brushed their teeth, I also expect them to clean up the remnants left behind in the sink.
- Weather Forecasting: Apparently, checking the weather outside or on their tablets is too hard. Instead, they prefer to shout downstairs for a full atmospheric report.
- Finding Items in Plain Sight: “Mom! Where are my shoes?” The answer is usually, “Right in front of you!”
And of course, my ultimate skill? Turning off the 15 lights that my kids leave on from their rooms to the garage every single day!
This piece was initially published on June 6, 2015.
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In summary, being a mom often means taking on an array of responsibilities that seem to be uniquely ours. From handling laundry mishaps to managing household chores, the skills we develop are both amusing and essential to family life.