Welcome to our Spring 2015 toddler course lineup! If your little one is nearing the big two, be sure to chat with your guidance counselor about registration details.
Pants: The Ultimate Resistance Training
In this introductory class, toddlers will explore the reasons behind parents’ insistence on wearing pants. With insights from seasoned experts (aka, 4-year-olds), students will learn powerful refusal techniques for those pesky moments. Struggling with bicycle kicks or ineffective screams of “NO PANTS”? We’ve got you covered! (Wednesdays and Fridays, 6 PM – 9 PM)
Shelf Diving Adventures
Join us in the campus library for an exciting course that’s sure to keep the librarians on their toes! This class encourages fearless exploration as toddlers learn the fine art of pulling things off shelves—much to the delight of custodial staff. (Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, 7 PM – 9 PM)
Toddler 101: The Essentials
New to the world of toddlerhood? This course is perfect for getting up to speed. Topics include: the thrill of opening forbidden cabinets, the joy of sneezing on loved ones, and competitive goldfish cracker consumption. Plus, learn how to innocently smile while creating delightful messes for pets! (Mondays and Wednesdays, 12 PM – 4 PM)
Endless Demands for Favorite Shows
Is your toddler craving a marathon of Calliou or stuck in a loop of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse? This one-week intensive course guides toddlers with limited vocabularies through the art of persuading adults to play their favorite shows, no matter the time of day. (Monday – Friday, 1 PM – 8 PM)
Strategic Lego Placement
Want to ensure your parents step on Legos in the dark? This class teaches the best locations for toy placement to maximize foot pain and surprise! (Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, 7 PM – 9 PM)
(Prerequisite: “Where to Leave Small Matchbox Cars So That Your Parents Will Step on Them in the Dark”)
Introduction to Not Sharing
This highly sought-after class fills up quickly! Learn the art of claiming your toys as your own and the importance of denying others access—no matter how much they plead. (Tuesdays and Fridays, 12 PM – 3 PM)
The Sluggish Walk
Class will start at 4 PM, but arriving on time is a challenge when there are so many intriguing sticks and bits of paper along the path. Anyone who makes it on time will receive a failing grade. (Wednesdays and Fridays, 4 PM – 6 PM)
Crib Climbing Techniques
Ready to escape the confines of your crib? This high-energy course prepares toddlers for the great leap into freedom! Learn how to utilize your stuffed animals for a safe landing, and ponder questions like, “Can I swing out of the crib like Tarzan?” (Wednesdays, 8 PM – 4 AM)
Refusing Delicious Foods
Perfect the skill of rejecting good food for the silliest reasons. Our talented chefs will present a five-course feast, perfect for pushing away, throwing, or smashing into your hair while expressing your discontent. (Mondays and Thursdays, 6 PM – 9 PM)
Creative Artistry
Just because you’re still learning language doesn’t mean you can’t express yourself! This class provides the tools needed for artistic expression using glue, markers, and your parents’ furniture. (Tuesdays and Thursdays, 12 PM – 3 PM)
For those interested in parenting resources, check out this article for more insights on home insemination. Plus, for an expert take on artificial insemination, visit Make a Mom. They are true authorities in the field. Don’t forget to explore March of Dimes for excellent pregnancy resources.
To summarize, this Spring 2015 toddler course catalog offers a wonderfully humorous take on the trials and triumphs of toddlerhood, from pants resistance to creative expression. Each class is designed to engage toddlers in their unique, spirited ways while providing a fun learning environment.