Tips for Navigating an Indoor Playground in 6 Simple Steps

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Living in the Deep South means facing blistering heat and unbearable humidity for a good part of the year. While some people enjoy the warmth—think spas, beaches, and saunas—I’m not a fan of makeup sliding down my face or the discomfort of sweaty skin sticking together. And let’s not even talk about what happens when a sweaty child rolls in dirt!

That’s why I’ve become an expert in locating every indoor playground within a 20-mile radius. However, be forewarned—while the temperature is more bearable indoors, there are still plenty of challenges to face, like that unfortunate poop diaper left by the inflatable slide.

Here are some helpful strategies for surviving the chaotic world of indoor playgrounds:

  1. Claim Your Spot
    Indoor playgrounds can get quite crowded, making it essential to secure a good seat. Look for a spot near an outlet, the restroom, and ideally positioned to keep an eye on your little ones. But let’s be real—sometimes it’s better not to hear them!
  2. Bring a Buddy
    While you might think going solo is a good idea since the enclosed space makes it hard for your child to wander off, having a friend with you is invaluable. Who else will share juicy gossip or help you keep track of your kid while you vent about parenting? Take along someone who won’t judge your parenting choices!
  3. Sneak in a Sip
    Let’s face it: tough parenting moments are often easier with a little something to take the edge off. Pour your favorite beverage into a discreet container, tuck it away in your oversized purse, and keep a low profile. Trust me, a little vodka made my last visit manageable, and I make no apologies for it!
  4. Leave Your Dignity Behind
    Accept that you and your kids may act a bit wild during your visit. Whether it’s your child shouting something embarrassing or you accidentally making a scene, just roll with it. Encourage your kids to be as expressive as they want while you’re out, and remember: you won’t have to deal with the aftermath at home.
  5. Expect the Unexpected
    Prepare for anything—whether it’s a sudden tantrum, a spilled drink, or a surprise bathroom emergency. You might find yourself facing a mini-crisis on the slide, so stay ready for whatever chaos comes your way.
  6. What Happens Here, Stays Here
    Did you find yourself in a cringe-worthy situation? Maybe you had a wardrobe malfunction or your child decided to test the limits of your patience. It happens to all of us! The good news is that once you leave, you can forget about it all and enjoy the peaceful silence of worn-out kids—unless, of course, you accidentally touched that abandoned poop diaper.

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Summary

Indoor playgrounds can be overwhelming, but with a few simple strategies, you can navigate the chaos. From securing a good seat to bringing along a friend for support, being prepared will help you handle any unexpected situations.