I adore the thrill, anticipation, and the break from our daily routine that holidays bring. However, the planning, chores, and unrealistic expectations that often accompany them can be a drag. So, when my eldest son, Oliver, proposed that we establish a new family holiday called Giving Day, I felt a mix of excitement and annoyance.
The concept behind Giving Day was straightforward, according to Oliver. We would draw names, exchange small gifts, spend quality time together, and then, as he put it, “just return to our regular day.” His enthusiasm caught me off guard, and I couldn’t help but ask, “Where did this idea come from?” “I thought it’d be fun!” he replied. While I was genuinely touched by his creativity, I couldn’t shake my worry that Giving Day could easily devolve into a day of excess—More Stuff to Deal With Day or Gimme Day.
As an aspiring minimalist, I yearn to eliminate clutter and simplify our lives; the last thing I needed was another holiday centered around consumerism. My partner, Alex, and I were already juggling a number of responsibilities, and I didn’t want to add to our plate.
Still, Oliver’s idea intrigued me, especially as we discussed the core values of Giving Day: generosity and togetherness. “What if we also give to those outside our family?” I suggested. “Absolutely!” he responded, nodding enthusiastically. “We could bake cookies for the neighbors or do something nice for someone else.”
After brainstorming ways to ensure our holiday focused on helping others, we tackled the practical and financial aspects. I wanted him to grasp that gifts don’t always need to come with a price tag. “Maybe we could create our own gifts or just buy tiny things for each other?” Oliver suggested. “Sounds good. And you boys will use your own money?” I asked. “I can use mine, but Leo might need a little help since he doesn’t really have any,” he replied sensibly.
Confident in our plans, Oliver marked “GIVING DAY” in bold letters on the calendar for the next free weekend. A few days later, we drew names to see who would give to whom. After exchanging gifts, we decided to bake cookies for our neighbors. The boys needed help with their gift ideas, but I was excited about the plan.
When the day arrived, despite my initial reservations, I felt a wave of optimism and enthusiasm—always a recipe for potential disappointment. We started the day on a relaxing note and exchanged gifts. Oliver gifted me a lovely journal, Alex received a bag of spicy almonds, Leo got an Iron Man mask, and Leo gave Oliver a quirky wind-up hopping eyeball he found at a garage sale. I snapped some pictures, capturing smiles and joy. But soon after, the glossy veneer of Giving Day began to fade.
What followed was a swift transformation into Sibling Rivalry Day, which morphed into Yelling Day and, ultimately, Go to Your Room Day. We did manage to bake cookies for our neighbors, but those were delivered amidst grumbles and rain.
In many ways, that first Giving Day didn’t meet my expectations. There were far more tears and squabbles than selflessness and gratitude. Yet, there were also bright moments that exceeded my hopes. The neighbor’s 5-year-old daughter called to thank us for the cookies, her voice ringing with delight. The boys decided to make handmade gifts for the next Giving Day, and that night I wrote in the journal Oliver chose for me.
Fast forward to our second Giving Day, which again didn’t unfold as planned. Due to a broken water heater, Alex had to stay home for the plumber instead of joining us at our scheduled food packing event at Feed My Starving Children. Leo cried when Oliver gave him his gift—a drawing and “gift certificate” he made—because it didn’t feature the Carolina Panthers, the team he was currently obsessed with. And, being five years old, Leo had his fair share of tears.
Despite the tears, disappointments, and shifts in plans, I’m eagerly awaiting our next Giving Day. Like most family holidays, the chaos blends with the beauty until all that remains is love, care, and affection. Sure, there are disappointments and likely tears, but there’s also togetherness, forgiveness, and a generous spirit. And aren’t those the true gifts we want to impart to our children? Interestingly enough, it’s often our children who teach us how to give the most precious gifts.
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In summary, while my family’s Giving Day may not unfold perfectly, its imperfections, surprises, and heartfelt moments are what make it memorable. It’s a holiday infused with lessons about love, generosity, and the joy of being together.