When the kids had their last week off from school, I found myself at home too. On that very first day, I turned around and was surprised to see six kids bustling around my living room. Just to clarify, I only have two!
Realizing the situation was about to get out of hand, I knew I had to do something to keep the chaos manageable: I decided to bake cookies. And just like that, more kids kept showing up for the rest of the week.
Growing up, my childhood home was similar, although the influx of friends didn’t happen until we were teenagers. There were four of us siblings, and our house became the go-to place for hanging out—not because of a well-stocked fridge or a super attentive mom. My mother was always busy juggling a full-time job, her studies, and her social life. Yet, she was approachable and tolerant, allowing a steady stream of friends to come and go. Sometimes they’d gather in the basement with my older brother, and other times they’d crowd around our living room table for marathon card games, usually poker or euchre.
Back then, like now, our home was a bit of a mess. Four teenagers in the 1980s meant not much cleaning was happening. My mom would come home, look around in dismay, and simply not have the energy to tidy up. I never blamed her for it, and in fact, I apologized to her years later when I truly understood what it was like to work all day and return to a household that had spiraled into chaos.
I may not have teenagers yet, but I do have two little ones whose belongings seem to multiply overnight. Legos are always underfoot, and socks—what is it with 7-year-old girls and socks?—seem to fly through the air the moment a friend steps into the house. We often find ourselves on a scavenger hunt for the TV remote, only to uncover an astonishing array of lost treasures tucked away in the couch cushions.
But our home isn’t just cluttered; it’s brimming with kids, and I’ve come to realize I’m simply continuing a family tradition.
My mother was wise to welcome all those teenagers into our home. Even during our rebellious phases, she knew where we were: at home. She was familiar with our friends, who adored her and called her by her first name—a practice I appreciate and have adopted. They found her easy to talk to, laid-back, and open-minded. She was known to swear and didn’t shy away from any subject, which set her apart from many of our friends’ parents, who seemed a generation older and more conservative.
Looking back, there are things I would do differently. My father, in his second go-round with parenting, explained the importance of knowing the difference between letting your own child have a glass of wine at 18 and allowing others to do the same—after all, we can’t make choices for other parents. While I agree with that now, at the time, I was grateful for my mother’s leniency. It’s one of the reasons so many kids gravitated toward our home—there weren’t a lot of rules.
While underage drinking is off the table in my house, we maintain a laid-back approach to parenting. When the house fills with kids, they run excitedly in and out of the backyard, filling water guns and loading Nerf darts. They’re loud, they call us by our first names, and they often pop their heads in to say hello—a gesture I appreciate as genuine interest rather than mere politeness. Just the other day, a friend of my daughter’s showed up unannounced. “Emma isn’t home right now, but she’ll be back in about 15 minutes,” I informed him. “Oh,” he replied, “Um…can I just hang out with you?” How could I say no?
So, it looks like our house will remain the hub for kids. It can be exhausting and certainly adds to the chaos. All the oatmeal cookies I baked on Tuesday disappeared by Wednesday afternoon, and I’m too busy to whip up another batch today. Still, we know where our kids are, and we’re getting to know their friends. I can only hope that when they reach their teenage years, they’ll continue to want to come and hang out with us.
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Summary:
In this lighthearted reflection, the author shares how her home has become the designated hangout spot for children, following in the footsteps of her own upbringing. While navigating the chaos of clutter and noise, she embraces the connections formed with her kids’ friends and hopes to continue fostering that welcoming environment as they grow.