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by Alex Thompson
Updated: May 26, 2020
Originally Published: June 19, 2015
I adore my kids. Really, I do. Our moments together are precious, and they light up my life. But some days, I long for a breather from all that cherishing. While we have a fantastic babysitter for our date nights (remember those?), she’s always booked and charges $15 an hour. Planning for her can feel like launching a GoFundMe campaign. So when the stars align, and both of my children get invited to a sleepover on the same night, it feels like a miracle! Cue the happy dance! It’s a rare win in the parenting game.
But let’s be real—my excitement quickly fades because my kids are terrible at sleepovers. Don’t tell them I said that, but it’s true. They thrive overnight with their grandparents, who spoil them with gifts and cuddles. However, when it comes to friends, it’s a whole different story. They’re too old to be this bad at sleepovers, yet they always end up calling home in the middle of the night. The texts start coming in at the worst times, almost as if they can sense our joy.
Usually, we’re enjoying dinner, sipping wine, laughing with friends at a nice restaurant—ah, those tablecloths! Or we could be watching a grown-up movie that’s definitely not kid-friendly. Then suddenly, the fun is shattered by their cries for help.
It all begins innocently enough; they get invited to a slumber party, and they plead with us, saying how much they want to go this time. We fall for it every single time. I drop them off, and they dash into their friend’s house without even a backward glance. “Yay! Freedom!” I think, envisioning a romantic dinner or a trip to Ikea, perhaps even a wild night of debauchery.
But as soon as night falls, the drama starts:
IGNORE. DO NOT ENGAGE. IT’S A TRAP.
My daughter, feeling a little homesick, sends a sad emoji. I manage a terse reply, but guilt creeps in, and I ask what she ate and tell her to drink some water. I say goodnight and hope for the best, but her tummy aches are just a ruse.
And heaven forbid there’s a slumber party with multiple kids involved. Forget it! Whenever two or more are gathered, chaos ensues. My little angel is never at fault, of course, it’s always those other girls stirring up trouble. A group of girls at a sleepover? I’m pretty sure it’s called a “tweenwreck.”
But my son isn’t off the hook either; he gets creative with his excuses. “I forgot my charger,” or “I have a weird rash.” I just want to get through dinner without interruptions, so I ignore him too.
Eventually, one of us gives in (usually my partner), putting clothes back on and stomping to the car to rescue our child(ren). We apologize profusely to the sleepy parents, “Sorry our kids are a handful.” And just like that, our night is ruined.
In front of them, we pretend it’s no big deal, assuring them they can always call or text if they need to come home. Inside, we’re seething.
To avoid future disasters, we’ve decided to put a stop to real sleepovers for now, opting for “almost sleepovers,” where they can stay late with a set pick-up time of 9:30 p.m. Despite their persistent requests to try again, we’ve had extensive talks about their discomfort, but they seem indifferent.
Maybe my little clingy ones don’t really suck; perhaps they simply aren’t ready for this yet. Maybe they’ve figured out that there’s no place like home, and how can we be mad at that?
This article was originally published on June 19, 2015.
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Summary:
Sleepovers can be a challenging time for kids and parents alike. While many children thrive at their grandparents’ homes, they often struggle at friends’ houses, leading to last-minute calls for help. As parents, navigating these situations can lead to frustration and disappointment, prompting some to avoid sleepovers altogether. Ultimately, it may simply be that some kids are just not ready for sleepovers yet, preferring the comfort of home.