When I was younger, Sundays meant church for my family, and often, midweek meetings too. My mother, a devoted Christian Scientist, avoided conventional medicine for herself and her children. I can still recall desperately praying for improved eyesight, hoping to ditch my glasses—but alas, that didn’t happen. My siblings and I relied on divine intervention to get through illnesses like measles and chickenpox, since we weren’t vaccinated. It wasn’t until adulthood that I got my immunizations. A particularly vivid memory is from my ninth-grade picnic, where a wild car ride ended with me in the ICU, pondering the silver lining that my mother was at a church convention. Without her presence, I felt a strange relief amidst the chaos.
In contrast, my husband grew up going to Bible camp in the South, where kids were posed with extreme hypothetical scenarios about their faith and loyalty. Given our different upbringings, our two children have never set foot in a church, and they don’t seem to miss it. However, that doesn’t imply they lack faith or a sense of morality. They just interpret these concepts differently, free from notions of punishment or fear.
Our “religion” is distinctly unique. At its core is a commitment to kindness—our foremost principle. We emphasize compassion for those who are less fortunate, respect for elders, and the importance of good manners, especially with adults. Hard work and honesty are values we uphold as essential; there’s no room for deceit, as it can tarnish even the most significant accomplishments. Our kids take ownership of their actions and are taught to communicate respectfully with one another. They understand the power of a heartfelt apology and the golden rule of treating others as they wish to be treated. Daily, we remind them of their privileges, highlighting the disparities in the world, especially for girls. They enjoy the advantages of quality education, a secure home, and plentiful meals, and we cultivate gratitude within them, encouraging a broader worldview.
When our kids ponder the nature of God, we share, “He’s Love, with a capital ‘L.’” We explain that this love connects everyone and, when they inquire about God’s form, we ask, “What does our love feel like to you? Can you see it? Or is it something you just feel deep in your heart?” We encourage them to meditate and seek inner peace, viewing God as a constant friend eager to listen. They are taught to ask for guidance and to anticipate answers, fostering a belief in a greater good that they contribute to in meaningful ways.
In our household, we strive to embody love. We maintain a close-knit family atmosphere, always supporting one another.
Many parents today, like us, are moving away from traditional—or in some cases, unconventional—forms of religion for their children. This shift could stem from witnessing discrimination against friends within religious settings, or perhaps they are troubled by conflicting messages in religious texts. Some simply never felt a divine connection within the walls of a church. They might find spirituality in unexpected places and define their beliefs in a personalized manner.
As I matured, I recognized that faith doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing proposition; it’s possible to seek beyond rigid doctrines. My kids won’t be burdened by the contradictions I encountered growing up. They will undoubtedly have questions in the future, but I feel equipped to navigate those discussions. I won’t share beliefs I don’t hold myself, and when faced with unanswered questions—like the purpose of life—I openly admit my uncertainty. I embrace the mystery and trust that their moral compasses will guide them, as we have set the foundation for their journey. I have faith that they are on the right path, and I believe that God is pleased with them too.
For more insights on home insemination and related topics, check out this informative post. Also, resources from Make a Mom offer valuable information for those considering their options. Additionally, the CDC provides excellent guidance on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
This article reflects on the values of kindness and empathy that a parent instills in their children, contrasting traditional religious upbringing with a more personalized approach to spirituality. It emphasizes the importance of compassion, respect, hard work, and gratitude while fostering a sense of community and love in the household.