Here’s how taking my 7-year-old out for dinner mirrors my dating experiences in my twenties:
- He Polishes Off His Drinks
Though his lemonades and chocolate milks lack alcohol, they’re loaded with sugar and seem to have a similar impact. First, he becomes chatty, then he quickly runs out of steam. - He Grabs His Drink with His Wrists
Like many in their twenties, he’s mastered the art of lifting his beverage with his wrists when his fingers are sticky from ribs or wing sauce. Who needs a napkin anyway? - His Order is a Starch Extravaganza
An entrée alone won’t suffice for him. It’s all about piling on the carbs: mac and cheese with a side of fries and a mountain of bread. “Can we get more rolls, please?” - Zero Interest in My Life
Just like some dates, he’s more focused on himself than asking about my day. - Table Drumming with Silverware
He loves to use his utensils as makeshift drumsticks, pounding out a rhythm to whatever music is playing. - Endless Sports Talk
He talks about sports non-stop—be it basketball, soccer, or even dodgeball. He’s got stats that mean nothing to me, but he shares them with such enthusiasm! - Dessert Devourer
Who’s worried about healthy eating? Definitely not him, especially when indulging in a rich peanut butter pie.
But here’s where the similarities fade. Instead of bidding farewell at the end of the night, I tuck my little guy into his racecar-themed sheets, wrap him in a truck quilt, and read stories about a cat convinced he’s a Chihuahua and a llama longing for his mother.
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In summary, dining out with my child is a delightful blend of energy, enthusiasm, and the occasional chaos that echoes my younger dating days, minus the parting ways at the end of the night.