The 8 Phases of Relocation for Moms

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Updated: July 9, 2016

Originally Published: June 23, 2015

Moving to a new home is a daunting challenge, but when you add four kids into the mix and eight years of accumulated belongings, it can feel like an insurmountable task. Trust me, I’ve found myself either on my knees or curled up in the fetal position in my closet, depending on the day’s chaos. Managing the transition from the old house—sorting through trash, donations, and items to keep—while wrangling four reluctant children feels a lot like attempting to extract splinters from your own eye. Here’s a lighthearted look at the eight phases of moving for moms:

1. Delightful Denial
   In this initial phase, the mom is convinced that “it won’t be that hard” and believes that her recent decluttering efforts will ease the burden of moving. She dreams of organizing her family’s possessions into color-coded bins and relocating everything smoothly. Little does she know, she’s about to plunge into a whirlwind of chaos, completely forgetting the idea of hosting a yard sale for unwanted items.
2. Doubts Begin to Surface
   As packing commences, the mom quickly realizes that her initial estimates were optimistic: 50 boxes won’t be nearly enough to contain the family’s treasures. Packing won’t be wrapped up in three days, and she’s the only one doing the heavy lifting. The dream of a yard sale fades as exhaustion sets in, overshadowing any thoughts of profit.
3. Materialism Rejected
   This stage could also be dubbed “Goodwill’s Jackpot.” The mom starts tossing a significant portion of her belongings into the donation pile, including items belonging to her children. The kids sift through the discarded items, professing their love for toys they haven’t touched in years, only to drop them moments later. In a desperate attempt to maintain order, the mom reclaims the forgotten toys and shoves them back into the donation pile.
4. Despair Sets In
   Tears may flow as the mom feels overwhelmed, facing a seemingly endless task of organizing amidst the chaos. Despite her relentless efforts, progress appears minimal. This frazzled mom might find solace in a glass of wine, all while her children engage in their own version of “Lord of the Flies.”
5. A Surge of Energy
   After several days of labor, the mom finally sees some progress. She loads her rambunctious kids into her well-worn SUV, along with numerous bags for donation. Following a successful drop-off at Goodwill, she treats her little ones to ice cream and returns to the grind, possibly with Helen Reddy’s empowering anthem playing in the background.
6. Reality Hits Hard
   Upon returning home, the mom is hit with the realization that the work ahead is far from over. She hasn’t even touched the notorious man cave or attic. With garbage bags in hand, she starts throwing everything into them, no longer concerned about donations versus trash—all she wants is to clear her space. The kids, sensing her intense focus, quietly retreat to avoid her wrath.
7. Get It Done
   Finally, the packing is complete, and everything is ready to move. The movers start loading the truck, and the mom feels a sense of accomplishment, only to discover that only half of the boxes will fit in the van. Bravely, she embarks on the arduous journey of making 15 trips to the new house, all while her children provide a soundtrack of complaints.
8. The Big Unpacking
   Once all items are in the new home, the mom is confronted with a mountain of boxes to unpack. Kids immediately start clamoring for specific items they “need right now.” Realizing this task could take weeks, she sends the kids outside to play and pours herself a drink, swearing she’ll never move again. She now holds a newfound respect for nomads.

For anyone currently navigating the trials of moving or if you know someone in the throes of this struggle, remember it won’t last forever. You gave birth for a reason—make those little ones lend a hand! Even if they don’t physically help, the mere threat of chores should keep them at bay so you can tackle the task at hand. If you’re looking for more tips on home insemination, check out this resource for great insights.

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Summary:

Moving is a challenging process for moms, especially when children and years of possessions are involved. The journey typically unfolds in eight stages, from denial and doubt to despair and eventual acceptance. While it may feel overwhelming, it’s essential to remember that this phase will pass. With a little help from the kids, the process can become more manageable.