Navigating life in a small Midwestern town during the ’80s and ’90s brought with it a set of shared experiences that are hard to shake off. The simplicity of that lifestyle sticks with you, no matter where you end up. Here are five insights that resonate with anyone who grew up in a small town:
1. Everyone assumes you know everyone.
In a big city, it’s unlikely someone will ask, “Do you know my friend from Chicago?” But in a small town, it’s almost a given that when you meet a new person, they’ll inquire, “Do you know this person?” Even if they’re from a nearby town, the belief is that small-town folks are all connected. And more often than not, you probably do know them—or at least someone related to them.
2. Bars and churches were your hangouts.
In my hometown, Main Street was lined with bars where adults gathered to unwind. As a kid, you might have sipped your first mocktail at the bar before learning to ride a bike. Sundays meant church, with familiar faces from school sitting nearby. Afterward, it was typical to treat yourself to doughnuts, or brunch as a reward for making it through another week.
3. You once yearned for a life beyond the small-town limits.
At some point during your teenage years, you likely wished to escape the confines of your town. It felt suffocating, as if the world outside held endless possibilities beyond the local diner and swimming pool. You might have blamed your parents for choosing such a quaint spot to settle down, feeling surrounded by narrow-mindedness. Now, however, you find solace in the shared understanding of fellow small-town folks.
4. You were a reckless teenager.
With limited entertainment options, small-town teens often found themselves in trouble. Whether it was sneaking drinks, dabbling in drugs, or climbing the town’s water tower, the adventures often led to questionable choices. The parties were wherever parents were away, and the alcohol often came from older siblings or local gas station attendants. Looking back, you can’t help but be grateful that social media didn’t exist to document those wild escapades—and you hope your kids don’t follow in your footsteps.
5. Returning with your kids feels like stepping into a time warp.
Bringing your children back to your childhood playground is a surreal experience. It prompts a comparison between your upbringing and theirs, and makes you question your parenting choices. Is it better to raise them in the same small town, attending the same school where you once sat (imagine the awkwardness of a parent-teacher conference with your old teacher)? Or should they explore life elsewhere? Regardless of where you choose to raise them, your small-town roots will always be part of you. You’ll always have a deep appreciation for family farms, share an understanding of classic small-town narratives, and remember unforgettable moments from high school events.
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Summary: Growing up in a small town shapes your perspective, creating a unique bond with others who share similar histories. From the assumptions that everyone knows everyone to the recklessness of teenage years, those experiences leave a lasting impact. Whether you choose to raise your children in your hometown or elsewhere, the memories and lessons from your upbringing will always be a part of your identity.