Hey there! Ever had to deal with the infamous “camel toe”? Yeah, neither have I. But there’s a remedy in the form of specialized underwear designed to mask camel toe. According to recent reports, entrepreneur Zoe Parker has created a product called “No Camel,” priced at around $28. Before you race to grab your credit card, let’s ponder a few questions.
1. Who really experiences camel toe?
The article mentions that camel toe is a common issue for women in yoga pants. Yet, every woman I know practically lives in those pants, and I’ve never had to quietly alert a fellow mom at the park with a “hey, camel toe.” The only time I’ve actually seen a camel toe was on a high school gym teacher in Germany wearing a very questionable pair of high-waisted, cropped gym pants. Seriously, this seems exaggerated. It’s hard to imagine camel toe being a reality unless someone is purposely hiking their pants up to their waist and jamming all the fabric in there—kind of like how I have to wrestle my couch covers back into place with a spatula.
2. Are we sure we want a rigid panty liner?
The secret ingredient in these miraculous camel-toe-hiding undies is a medical-grade silicone liner. This sounds suspiciously like wearing a metal shoehorn in your underwear. When you walk, is that going to chafe against your thighs? Are you prepared to risk some serious friction for the sake of avoiding camel toe? Will we all be in the restroom, tending to our wounds while nodding at each other, “Totally worth it for no camel toe”?
3. What happens when you sit down?
Is it going to feel like you’ve got a Frisbee hidden in your pants?
4. What about the poor Midwestern guys?
Apparently, they’re fans of camel toe and might not appreciate a remedy. So, what are we trying to achieve here? Are we aiming to appease the men in Providence while leaving the guys from Champaign in the dust? How do men from the West Coast feel: thumbs up, thumbs down, or indifferent? In a world where you might have to present to a VP from Schenectady and a CFO from Santa Cruz, can you really charm every man with your appearance? Will you need to swap out the silicone pad based on your audience?
5. How hot is it going to get down there with silicone pressed against you all day?
6. Does height really matter in the camel toe department?
Zoe Parker, the creator of No Camel, is 5’11”, meaning her camel toe is likely eye-level in meetings. I’m only 5’4”, and my coworkers are relatively short too. Can I simply wear regular underwear and sneak into meetings a bit early to hide my distracting bits?
7. And what’s with the godmother story?
Zoe claims the idea for this product hit her while visiting her godmother during a speech in New England. She was too distracted by her godmother’s camel toe in stylish white capris to pay attention to the actual speech. While I appreciate the inspiration, I’d argue that women face far more significant challenges—like wage gaps and personal safety—than camel toe. If something feels off, just change your pants!
In summary, while camel toe may be a concern for some, it seems like there are bigger battles to fight. If you’re interested in more on home insemination, check out this article on our site, and for a reliable resource on pregnancy, visit this page.