While waiting in line at the grocery store, I can’t help but notice the magazine headlines shouting about ways to enhance your marriage. They often focus on spicing up your sex life or keeping the spark alive, but rarely mention the reality of parenting. As I skim through these articles, I can’t help but think, “These writers must not have kids.”
- Leave Flirty Notes: The suggestion to leave sexy notes around the house is laughable for parents. If your kids can read, you might want to rethink that strategy. I’d probably write something like, “I love it when you handle the laundry,” or “It excites me when you take the kids out for ice cream.” Not quite the romantic sentiment they had in mind!
- Lingerie in the Kitchen: Wearing lingerie while cooking? Imagine the therapy bills for those kids! Even if I tried this after bedtime, I’d need a blanket to cover up the moment I hear little feet. The “shuffle of shame” back to the bedroom is not quite what I envisioned for a romantic evening.
- Role Play: Going out to a bar and pretending to be strangers sounds fun until you realize your spouse might just end up playing pool while you wait at the bar. I can hear my husband chuckling at the thought!
- Setting the Mood: Candles, rose petals, and soft music? Sure, if you want to risk setting off the smoke alarm or spend hours cleaning up those pesky petals that will linger for months. By the time I set everything up, my husband would likely be snoring on the couch.
- Taking a Bath Together: Unless you have a bathtub the size of a small swimming pool, this isn’t happening. Fitting two adults into a standard-sized tub sounds more like a game of human Tetris than a romantic escape.
- Showering Together: Sharing a shower might seem intimate, but it rarely is when you’re both shivering and fighting over who gets the hot water first. And with only one bathroom, someone is bound to need to pee at the most inconvenient moment.
- Acting Out Scenes from Movies: Sure, let’s recreate a scene from “The Croods.” “Release the baby!” doesn’t exactly scream romance, does it?
Clearly, these tips are tailored for couples without kids, or at least for those rare moments when the kids are away at camp or with relatives. Realistically, for parents, the best advice might just be to wait until the kids are grown and moved out—or at least until the grandchildren are visiting!
For more engaging discussions about marriage and parenting, check out this helpful resource on infertility and home insemination. And if you’re looking for more information on home insemination kits, this page is a great authority on the subject.
In summary, the reality of marriage for parents often doesn’t align with the romanticized tips found in magazines. The best advice might just be to cherish the moments you have and get creative within the constraints of parenthood.