Updated: May 1, 2019
Originally Published: July 2, 2015
Recently, I had a revelation: the “mom” version of me is the only one my children will ever truly know. You know the type—she won’t allow waffles for dinner, thinks the music at Five Guys is too loud, and struggles to stay awake through a movie. Sometimes, I wish my kids could have met the wild, carefree version of me that existed before motherhood. So, kiddos, here are a few things about me that you might not know; things that vanished into the depths of pre-mama life, along with my high heels and the ability to sleep past 8 a.m.
1. I had a colorful vocabulary.
I recently got flustered when I heard you casually say “gosh darn it,” but let me confess: before you were around to absorb every word I uttered, my language was quite the opposite. I didn’t just toss around cute little “crap!” exclamations; I was known to drop some serious bombs. I called my friends all sorts of names, from “jerks” to “nincompoops,” and let’s just say that the “C” word made an appearance now and then. My favorite adjective? You guessed it—“freakin’.” But over the years, I’ve toned it down (thanks to your dad’s influence). Now, when I slip up, it feels odd. I’m sorry if I seem uptight about your language. You’re just 3, and I have to at least pretend to be the responsible one here. Call me a hypocrite if you want, but let’s avoid those not-so-nice words.
2. I used to have a blast.
One day, when you come home smelling like a party, I’ll probably lose my mind. I’m not going to be one of those “hip” moms who lets their teenagers drink under my roof (trust me, those moms have their own secrets). But before you label me as the ultimate fun-sucker, know this: I used to revel in the nightlife. I’ve been the one to stumble down streets, dance on tables, and consume cheese fries like there was no tomorrow. One time, I even bought a Christmas tree at 4 a.m. and named him Charlie. I had wild fun, but I also made some questionable choices, like driving under the influence. Thankfully, things turned out okay, and I learned some important lessons along the way. Just remember, avoid drinking and driving, respect others, and think twice before jumping off any high places. I promise, once you turn 21, we’ll celebrate together!
3. I wasn’t always a taskmaster.
I know I can be a bit of a nag—“Eat your veggies!” “Get dressed!” “Bedtime, stat!” But believe it or not, I wasn’t always this strict. Not so long ago, I could lounge until noon, munch on cereal for dinner, and binge-watch shows all day. Your dad and I used to stay up late watching reality TV marathons. Why? Because we could! Now, time is a precious commodity, and it’s my job to help mold you into responsible, healthy individuals (or something like that). I have to be a bit of a hardass about things, hence the endless reminders and checklists. Trust me, deep down, I’d love nothing more than to watch movies and eat popcorn until midnight! So this weekend, how about a compromise? I’ll allow waffles for dinner if you let me sleep in until noon. Deal?
4. I once had a cool factor.
Honestly, you probably won’t believe this, and even I’m starting to doubt it. Moving on!
5. I dreamed of you long before you were here.
Before I learned all the colorful expressions or enjoyed my first drink, I had a vision of you. The idea of having my own family was always my ultimate dream. In a cosmic way, I was destined to be your mama before I even knew what that meant. You were always meant to be a part of my life, and though you’ve changed me in many ways, you’ve also granted me the most precious gift of all: the reality of my dream. And for that, I’d gladly trade everything else a hundred times over.
In conclusion, while your pre-mama mom may seem like a distant memory, know that every part of my journey has led to the joy of having you in my life.
For more insights on family planning and home insemination, check out this informative post on home insemination kits. Additionally, for those looking into fertility options, the Fertility Booster for Men is a great resource. And if you’re curious about intrauterine insemination, Hopkins Medicine’s Fertility Center offers excellent information.