The term “boomerang child” refers to young adults who return to live with their parents, often due to financial reasons. But what if these adult children never truly left home? This scenario can be seen as a “failure to launch,” highlighting a struggle to achieve independence. As journalist Claire Adams discussed in her article, What’s Going on with Young Adults Today? in the Parent Times, many millennials are delaying traditional milestones such as finishing school, moving out, gaining financial independence, getting married, and starting families. Maybe we should coin a new term for those who opt to stay home while completing their education: “Nestlings.”
My partner and I faced financial challenges during our college years, especially since we began our family early. Balancing parenting with educational costs can be quite overwhelming. To ease this burden for our children, we decided to invest in their futures. When our kids were just 5 and 2, we began contributing $400 a month into a college savings plan, ensuring they could afford a four-year education without the stress of student loans. Today, at ages 24 and 21, they are thriving without the financial burden we faced.
Despite still living with us, our adult children are making substantial progress. When I share this arrangement, I often find myself explaining our reasoning:
- We have a mutual understanding.
We agreed that as long as our children are committed to their education, they can remain at home. We provide room, board, and essential expenses, while they cover personal costs like clothing and leisure activities. Life has thrown a few curveballs, but we believe this arrangement supports their focus on academics. A survey by Sun Life Financial in Canada showed that 90% of young adults aged 18 to 24 feel stressed by economic uncertainties. By alleviating their financial worries, we help them concentrate fully on their studies. - Cultural norms support this choice.
In many collectivist cultures—such as those in Asian, Hispanic, and Middle Eastern communities—multigenerational households are the norm. These families often rely on close, reciprocal relationships among relatives. While our household consists of only two generations, we maintain strong ties with our parents, who live nearby. This closeness enriches our family dynamics, providing a supportive environment that counters prevalent family dysfunction. - Financial independence can be challenging.
Let’s break it down: a college student working 30 hours a week at $9 per hour would earn around $1,080 monthly. Rent for even a shared apartment in our area starts at $550, not including utilities and food. Juggling full-time work with a full course load can be nearly impossible. The alternatives—taking on student loans or having us financially support a separate household—are high-cost options that undermine the sacrifices we made to keep them debt-free. - Our commitment to their success.
We genuinely want our children to have opportunities we didn’t. By allowing them to stay home, they can enter the workforce unburdened by debt. With the current economic outlook, many young adults are facing grim prospects after graduation. As financial expert Sam Thompson notes, this generation might have a lower income trajectory compared to their parents. By enabling our kids to live at home while they achieve their goals, we believe we are investing in their futures.
While some may say we are stifling independence, our children are independent adults who simply call our house home. Their living space is separate, with their own bedrooms and a lounge area they manage themselves. They come and go freely and often have their own schedules, making us feel like empty nesters most of the time. This setup may not suit everyone, but it works for us. Perhaps those collectivist cultures have a point—and maybe we’re not so unconventional after all.
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In conclusion, choosing to allow our adult children to stay at home has created a supportive atmosphere where they can thrive academically and financially, all while fostering close family relationships.