Updated: Dec. 26, 2015
Originally Published: July 4, 2015
After welcoming that little bundle of joy into the world, you might think the worst is behind you. Think again! The chaos of the first several birthday parties can be so intense that you might find yourself longing for the simplicity of childbirth, complete with an epidural. Don’t believe me? Here are 11 ways birthday parties mirror the experience of giving birth:
- The Cost is Astronomical: Just like those hospital bills, planning a birthday bash can drain your wallet. Between custom cakes, party favors, and fancy invitations, you’ll wonder if that delivery fee was a steal in comparison.
- Packing Perils: Despite your meticulous planning, a significant portion of what you bring will be totally useless, and you’ll inevitably forget something crucial. Really, how did we forget the lighter for the candles?
- Sweaty Anticipation: When the big day arrives, you’ll likely find yourself sweating profusely while one guest is half-dressed—hopefully, it won’t be you this time around.
- Desperate Pleas for Relief: You might find yourself begging for someone to help you out, only to be met with chuckles and a casual pat on the back. (Seriously, we weren’t kidding!)
- Hiding Hubby: Every time you search for your partner, he’ll be blissfully seated, hoping to avoid blame for any mishaps. Spoiler: he’s likely the reason things went sideways!
- The In-Law Factor: Just when you think you’ve got everything under control, your mother-in-law will stroll in late, claiming credit for all your efforts and bringing an extravagant gift that puts yours to shame. And let’s face it, all the presents are ultimately for someone else.
- No Wine Until It’s Over: You’ll be stuck waiting for that well-deserved glass of wine until the chaos subsides (or maybe that’s just me—perhaps I need new friends?).
- Unwanted Advice: Someone will inevitably tell you to cherish every moment, and you’ll have to suppress the urge to punch them. Spoiler alert: it’s probably going to be your mother-in-law again.
- The Crying Finale: Both occasions conclude with a child’s wailing. Oops, I meant “YOUR child’s crying.” What a joyful moment!
- Forgettable Pain: After these events, you’ll vow never to endure this madness again. Yet, by the time the next birthday rolls around, you’ll have conveniently forgotten how overwhelming it was.
- The Endless Cycle: And that’s how it goes on and on. Now, where is that leftover cake?
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In summary, while both birthday parties and childbirth can be chaotic and costly, they also bring unforgettable moments and giggles. Embrace the wild ride and, above all, don’t forget to enjoy the cake!