Hey there, little one.
Recently, I jotted down some thoughts and advice for your future sister, compiling little nuggets I’ve gathered over the years. It got me thinking—why not do the same for you, my perhaps-son? After chuckling at the idea of having a son, I realized that if you ever do come into my life, we could both use some wisdom to help us navigate this wild world. So, here’s my guide for you, my potential boy!
Love you always,
Mom
Please know that I’m doing my very best, even if it might not seem that way sometimes. And just so you know, I regret not getting us a dog.
Our family’s athletic legacy peaked when I struck out at tee-ball, so maybe you could explore music instead? Girls seem to dig drummers, and they get to sit down while they play, which suits our family vibe perfectly.
I’m crossing my fingers that you inherit any math skills from your grandparents, so you can calculate an 18% tip without needing an app. If not, well, there’s always an app for that!
As for Star Wars? I want to understand it, but let’s be real—I probably won’t.
I can’t wait to take you to your first concert. It’ll be our special moment, just like the concerts I shared with your grandparents, your aunt, and some legendary artists.
Remember, the word “emotion” has “motion” in it for a reason—feelings are meant to be expressed and shared. Don’t shy away from your feelings. Oh, and just so you know, guys who can show their emotions are pretty attractive—go ahead and be that guy!
Clouds are fascinating. Stratus clouds are the flat ones, while cumulus clouds look like fluffy cotton balls.
You’ll need to learn about relationships, including the female anatomy—though you might find it a bit bewildering. Embrace that complexity. And hey, if you happen to be gay, that would be amazing.
When you love someone, let the world know! Love is precious, so dive in when the opportunity arises.
Tattoos? Go for it! Just promise you’ll tell me beforehand, and maybe check in daily? I’d love to chat about it!
Thanksgiving? We’re doing that together every year, no questions asked.
Make sure to listen to Big Star, Velvet Underground, and early Bruce Springsteen—music is a big part of life.
If you ever blame a woman’s mood on her period, just know I’ll make sure you experience something similar every month.
Scars can tell beautiful stories, even the ones from minor surgeries. Keep an eye on your skin, though!
You will have friends I don’t vibe with, and that’s normal. Just listen to my advice and maybe rethink those friendships.
If you can’t remember why you’re holding onto something, let it go—you’ll be better off.
The film The Apartment is a classic. And just so you know, in our family, we don’t reply to calls with text messages.
You might need medication at some point. But hopefully, you’ll inherit my good hair and sense of humor—as well as my humility.
Respect Beyoncé. She’s as much a role model as I am.
Learn to dance—not necessarily through lessons but find your groove and be comfortable with it.
Holding a door open for someone is a nice gesture, and when walking with a girl, stay closer to the curb to protect her. Offer your seat to those who need it, too.
Manners never go out of style.
To remember what “vacillate” means, picture standing before endless shelves of Vaseline, trying to decide which one to buy.
Fight for what matters. Find tranquility in silence and appreciate the quiet moments.
Master one great dish that doesn’t require fancy equipment—something you can whip up without needing a grill or microwave.
Embrace whiskey, let fear drive you forward, and treat pain as a challenge.
Read The Things They Carried, and yes, you might even want to explore intimacy in a foreign language.
Go to camp, attend college, and don’t shy away from therapy—each will shape you.
Always be honest but kind. Learn to forgive; it’s essential for moving on.
Use condoms, please—safety first!
Take the time to clean your tub—it’s a small but significant task.
When you love someone, learn their middle name, their birthday, and try to recognize their handwriting.
Celebrate your friends and allow them to celebrate you in return.
Find those who make you laugh the most and hold onto them tightly.
I’m not sure I’m the best at relationship advice, which might explain why I’m sitting here at this Starbucks, writing to you and contemplating turning 40—single. But one thing is clear: no one will ever know your thoughts unless you share them.
Just know that I’m thinking of you right now, and I love you deeply. I’m grateful for the possibility of you being a part of my life someday.
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In summary, life is filled with experiences, emotions, and lessons. Embrace them all, and remember to love fiercely, laugh often, and always be kind.