Updated: May 20, 2020
Originally Published: July 6, 2015
I’m married to a wonderfully hairy man. When we first crossed paths, his towering height caught my attention. Impressive. Next, I couldn’t help but notice his well-defined rear. Very attractive. Lastly, I realized he had a generous amount of hair, which I find charming—except for the oddly hairless arms. Curious.
As I got to know him better, it became obvious that he occasionally shaves his forearms, but not consistently, resulting in a perpetual stubbly look. Apparently, a misguided ex had convinced him that his natural arm hair was unattractive, and he took her advice to heart. My first move as his girlfriend was to help him embrace his natural look.
I appreciate a bit of hairiness; it feels rugged and manly. There’s something delightfully primal about being swept off my feet by a hairy guy who grunts with effort as he carries me down the hall. Plus, there’s a warmth to him that I enjoy, and yes, petting his fur is oddly soothing.
However, sharing a life with a hairy partner means dealing with the upkeep of his body hair. I’ve discovered that belly button lint is a genuine issue. My husband tends to accumulate considerable lint in his belly button, which he pulls out and nonchalantly tosses to the floor. These little balls of fluff roll around like tumbleweeds, causing our kids to exclaim, “WHAT IS THAT?!” while clinging to me in terror. I calmly reassure them, “Shhh, it’s just another piece of Daddy’s lint.”
I often find tufts of his chest and arm hair stuck to our babies after they’ve napped on his chest. As I pluck the stray hairs from their faces, I reassure myself that it’s not his fault—he doesn’t mean to shed on the kids. Maybe the full moon was to blame? I also shed my own long, blonde hairs throughout the house, so perhaps I’m not in a position to complain. Does anyone else experience this? Seriously, it’s maddening!
After a cozy snuggle session, I often find his hair clinging to me. Lint traps fill up quickly, and there’s always a sprinkle of hair around the bathroom sink and in the tub—these are the small prices of hairy love. What I didn’t anticipate were the occasional grooming mishaps. Thankfully, they’ve been infrequent, but when they happen, they certainly make an impression.
Not long ago, I was in our office, writing away, when I noticed him peeking around the doorframe, shirtless. “Hey there,” I said, not thinking much of it. After chatting for a bit, he cleared his throat and stepped into the room fully. “I need your assistance with something,” he said, capturing my full attention.
“I was shaving my head, as usual, and when I went to do my neck…” He mimicked the act and then turned to reveal his back to me. I gasped. It looked like he was wearing a bizarre off-the-shoulder hair ensemble.
“The razor slipped, so I tried to fix it. Can you help?” I sat there, stunned into silence and unable to contain my disbelief. There was no way to salvage this without a complete shave. I stared at the furry puffs on his arms like furry shoulder pads.
If I were ever to write a book called The Woman’s Guide to Living With a Hairy Partner, it would be a brief read consisting of just one sentence: Don’t negotiate—take action and shave him down right away. The end.
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In summary, living with a hairy partner presents its own unique set of challenges and humorous moments. Embracing their hairiness can lead to warmth and affection, but it also comes with the responsibility of managing the occasional grooming mishap. Open communication and lightheartedness are key in finding balance in this hairy adventure.