Huey Lewis is crooning about “if this is it,” and I can’t help but echo that sentiment. Honestly, as I listened to his song for the first time on my boom box back in 1985, I never imagined I’d be coaching a soccer team that would lose players because it wasn’t challenging enough. In fact, I doubt I even knew what soccer was back then.
Later, while recounting this peculiar situation to my husband, he casually mentioned that this wasn’t even on his radar. I can understand why. We have a backhoe parked in our driveway, working on what seems like an enormous and costly drainage project. As we sit in silence, our children animatedly chatter about their day, soccer tryouts, and scoring goals, I catch my husband gazing out the window. I wonder if Huey Lewis is playing in his mind. Did he picture himself enjoying a Wednesday hotdog while contemplating whether today’s project was too much for us? Is this it? In the kitchen, I watch my kids as we transition into the next phase of the evening.
The “Roundup” Phase
This next phase could aptly be labeled “Roundup.” Everyone is in motion. Lunch boxes are inspected and packed for school, dinner dishes are cleared away, coffee is brewed, and our pets are checked for food and water. Finally, the kids get into their pajamas. This should be a serene moment, but I’ve seen countless online posts suggesting that my kids should be quietly enjoying a book. Calm evenings have always eluded me. Even when they were infants, bedtime was a noisy affair, often concluding with tears. At least now they can dress themselves!
As I take the dog out for her last walk of the night, my thoughts linger on the soccer situation. I once made promises to my younger self about what motherhood would look like. A big part of those promises involved not getting too wrapped up in my children’s achievements as if they were my own. I realize how easy it is to fall into that trap. I want my kids to thrive and excel, but their success has to come from within. The greatest challenge in parenting so far has been teaching my children that their ambitions should stem from their own desires—not from external pressures. It’s amusing to think that eight years ago, I would have told you that potty training and sleepless nights were my biggest obstacles. Perspective truly changes everything.
Finding Joy in the Journey
As I wrap up our brief walk (which was really just a trip to the backyard and back), I imagine my daughter playing soccer with a radiant smile, as if she’s on camera, regardless of whether our team wins or loses. Just last week, she asked if she could play with her cousins on the way home. This little moment reminds me that I might be on the right track, achieving what I set out to do.
Perhaps, when I was listening to Huey Lewis in my purple bedroom back in 1985, I was unknowingly envisioning this day, this evening filled with soccer drama. The specifics may have been hazy, but the intention was clear. If I could manage to get my twins to sleep through the night (and I use that term loosely), then I can surely navigate this next hurdle—what many call the “middle.” Some days are messier than others, but it’s undeniably the middle ground. The foundation laid over the past years is crucial, serving as a precursor to the teenage years, where that groundwork better be solid. Now, it’s about making adjustments as we go.
The Chaos of Bedtime
Back inside, I’m quickly reminded that this is indeed it. In just five minutes, a small argument escalated into the usual chaos of yelling, crying, and pinching. I trudge upstairs, hearing the shower running where my husband pretends he can’t hear anything. Our dog has taken a beloved stuffed animal and hidden it, prompting more screams. I tuck everyone into bed (which includes remaking my 7-year-old’s bed, as I do nightly). After kisses all around, I head back downstairs, pour myself a glass of pinot, and settle in for a moment of relaxation. Soon, my husband and I will make predictions about which child will struggle to sleep and which one has homework they forgot. We’ll recap the day and outline plans for tomorrow. If we’re feeling particularly adventurous, we might even discuss our dreams and goals for the future. And that’s how I find my answer to Huey Lewis’s question.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it’s fascinating how a song from the past can resonate so deeply with the present. While life may not always align with our youthful expectations, it’s filled with moments that remind us of our journey and growth.