As I navigate the parenting journey, I often find myself echoing the same phrases my mother used to repeat. Those reminders about proper etiquette and organization come flooding back, often at the most unexpected moments.
- “Chew with your mouth closed.”
- “Don’t leave your shoes in the living room.”
- “Make your bed.”
- “Clean your room.”
These commands, which once seemed like personal critiques, have turned into my own daily mantras. As a child, I viewed them as frustrating critiques of my character, leaving me feeling annoyed. Yet, looking back, I see that those persistent reminders shaped me into someone who values cleanliness and good manners—thanks to countless hours spent reading when boredom struck.
Being a parent means stepping into the role of a guide, helping our children learn how to navigate the world. Some of us may not have all the answers, but we do our best to prepare our kids for life’s challenges.
As the eldest of five siblings, I often felt my mom was overly vigilant about my behavior. However, after becoming a parent myself, I’ve discovered a different perspective. While I was diligently corrected about my table manners and tidiness, I began to notice that my younger siblings weren’t held to the same standards. My youngest sibling is now allowed to be a bit more carefree, leaving his messes scattered around without much consequence.
Interestingly, my older two children have adopted a more organized approach to their spaces. Their rooms tend to be tidy, with laundry put away and beds made regularly. You’d think this good behavior would naturally extend to my younger two, but that assumption couldn’t be more wrong.
My 18-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son are charming and kind-hearted, but their rooms tell a different story. My son, while bright and sweet, has been known to leave a trail of mess behind him. And my daughter? Well, she seems to have a knack for transforming her bedroom into a disaster zone. Dirty clothes litter the floor, and her desk is a chaotic mix of empty snack wrappers and half-finished projects. Yet, she’s not lazy—she balances a full schedule of honors classes and part-time jobs. It’s perplexing!
Despite my attempts to instill a sense of order, reminders to “make your bed” and “empty the trash” often fall on deaf ears. Clean rooms just aren’t high on their list of priorities.
I’ve wrestled with the importance of cleanliness myself. Is a tidy desk really that essential? I’ve learned to prioritize things that matter, like encouraging creativity and talent—like practicing the saxophone—over a made bed. However, I still can’t shake the habit of nagging about basic cleanliness.
Recently, I returned from dropping off my daughter at college, only to find her room in disarray. As she prepared to leave, her belongings had spilled out of her room and down the stairs. I took one last glance at her space before our early morning departure, and it was a mix of last-minute packing chaos and sentimental memories. I asked her to leave things tidy, but I knew her mind was elsewhere.
After a long day filled with moving her into her dorm, I returned home with my other two kids, feeling a sense of melancholy. As I headed upstairs, I couldn’t resist peeking into her room one last time. To my surprise, I found it immaculately clean. The bed was made, the desk organized, and everything was in its place. I couldn’t believe it! After years of reminders, she had finally done it—only now, it felt hauntingly empty without her.
I now possess the clean room I always longed for, but at what cost? I wish her new roommates the best of luck navigating that organized space.
For more on navigating the complexities of parenting and home life, check out our other articles at Home Insemination Kit, where we explore various topics, including resources at the CDC for pregnancy and home insemination, as well as expert insights from Make A Mom on self insemination.
Summary
In this heartfelt reflection, Lisa Hartman shares her experiences as a parent navigating the challenging yet humorous dynamics of cleanliness within her household. Through the lens of her own upbringing, she examines the contrasting behaviors of her children, culminating in a bittersweet moment of realization when her daughter finally cleans her room before heading off to college.