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My Partner Has No Clue What It’s Like to Be Me
There have been countless moments when I or one of my friends has sighed and said, “My partner has no idea what it’s like to manage the kids at home.” Back when I was juggling a full-time job while pregnant, then balancing work with motherhood, and later working while caring for a toddler, I often vented about how my partner just didn’t understand. And, to his credit, he really didn’t.
My partner has no true grasp of my daily challenges, just as I can’t fully appreciate the intricacies of his job. Our roles are like mysteries to each other. He might not know where the extra towels are kept, and the little one always seems to be wearing pajamas when she’s with him. I have a feeling it’s because he struggles with dressing her. And every time I return home, there’s a sock missing, the air is filled with the unmistakable scent of chicken fingers and, well, let’s just say, the boys could probably swim in their own sweat after an afternoon of wrestling.
I used to find myself frustrated because he didn’t handle things the way I would have. If I were home, there would definitely be no lingering smells or questionable meals. But after leaving my job to care for the kids full-time, I found myself just relieved to have a break. Now, we’ve reached a point where I appreciate him for working hard to provide for our family, and he expresses gratitude for my relentless dedication—even if he doesn’t fully understand all that I juggle on a daily basis.
But still…he has no clue.
He doesn’t realize how much coffee I consume to get through the day. He doesn’t understand the chaos of running errands with three kids in tow. He has no idea what it’s like to change a tampon while an audience looks on. He doesn’t know how isolating and overwhelming it can feel on tough days when I could really use an extra pair of hands. He can’t fathom how difficult it is to watch my body transform three times, feeling little control over it.
And he has no idea how much joy he brings to my life. I’ve never been able to articulate just how much his love means to me, especially as he sees more of my flaws with each passing year. I’m incredibly thankful that he has given me the opportunity to be present for every milestone in our children’s lives—good and bad.
He might not grasp the challenges I face, but he also doesn’t realize just how rewarding it can be. So, to my partner who has no clue about the daily adventures of staying home with the kids…thank you. We often forget to express our gratitude to those who love us the most, especially when they endure our most trying moments.
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In summary, while my partner may not fully understand the complexities of my role as a stay-at-home parent, our mutual appreciation for each other’s contributions helps us navigate the challenges of family life together.