5 Strategies to Enjoy My Beach Getaway After ‘Shark Week’

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Every July, my kids eagerly tune into the Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week,” and they’ve mastered the art of hiding the remotes for an entire week. Yes, you heard that right—remotes. Why does modern technology require multiple devices just to function? No idea, but somehow they vanish. This is Megalodon’s time to shine, and my kids are determined not to let their parents spoil the fun, especially when we’d rather indulge in something a bit more mature on Netflix during those sweltering summer nights.

You might wonder why my spouse and I don’t simply escape to another room or pop on headphones to tune out the shark frenzy. Well, our enthusiastic little ones demand our presence, wanting us to experience the thrill of “Shark Week” as a family. Apparently, it’s not just about sharks; it’s about bonding over the excitement of marine life’s most notorious predators.

Despite the questionable scientific accuracy of much of the programming, my kids remain unfazed. They roll their eyes at my skepticism and insist that the real joy lies in watching actors with thick Australian accents portray “expert” marine biologists, as they dive into the mysteries of the ocean’s depths—and, of course, the notorious sharks that inhabit them.

Unbeknownst to my children, their parents are still grappling with our own childhood fears sparked by the legendary film, Jaws. Whether you caught it at the cinema in 1975 (and honestly, I’d question your parents’ judgment if you did), saw it on HBO in the early ’80s, or watched it at a drive-in during high school, it likely left a lasting impression. Remember the headlines about people being too scared to swim in pools or even take baths? Yeah, it took us decades to feel comfortable in the water again.

Now, our kids are pushing us to embrace the ocean once more, and they expect more than just a cautious dip. “Shark Week” means a full commitment to the water for a week straight. Fortunately, the shark-themed madness wrapped up just in time for our family beach trip. As we prepare to set off on our long-awaited getaway, I realize I’ll need some strategies to cope with my resurfaced anxieties. Perhaps I can draw a little inspiration from Jaws itself:

1. Channel My Inner Mayor: Just like the mayor of Amity Island, I’ll embrace denial! I can’t let my fear ruin our vacation, especially since my husband and I are footing the bill for this beach adventure. I’ll put on a brave face and encourage my family to join me in the ocean—what could possibly go wrong?
2. Adopt a Scientific Mindset: When the waves hit your waist, denial can only take you so far. I’ll try to mimic the curious, slightly frantic demeanor of marine biologist Hooper. Maybe if I convince myself that I’m just pondering what brushed against my leg, I can keep my nerves in check—at least until I make a beeline back to shore.
3. Sip Like Quint: A more effective coping mechanism might be to find solace at the bottom of a wine bottle. With a few drinks in me, I might even be tempted to sing a tune or even take a midnight dip in the ocean. (Cue the ominous Jaws theme music.)
4. Stay Afloat: If I keep all my limbs safely on a floaty, I should be fine, right? I’ll stick to jet skis and boat rides, trying not to think about the Great White that destroyed Quint’s boat.
5. Be Fearless Like Brody: Sure, Chief Brody was terrified, but he faced his fears head-on. If I can’t shake the thought of the scary shark specials, I might just do what he did—gear up and hope for the best.

With our family trip to Cape Cod looming—where, coincidentally, two Great Whites were recently spotted off Chatham—I can’t help but feel that we might need a bigger boat.

In just a few weeks, we’ll be heading to the shore for some much-needed family fun. For those interested in exploring topics like home insemination, check out this insightful post, or learn more about artificial insemination kits, as they are a great resource for those on this journey.

Summary

As I prepare for our long-awaited beach vacation post-“Shark Week,” I’m using a mix of humor and nostalgia to cope with my childhood fears. By channeling my inner mayor, adopting a scientific curiosity, indulging in a drink or two, staying afloat, and summoning courage like Chief Brody, I hope to make the most of our family getaway.