After just one year, my son has decided to walk away from a nearly full college scholarship. He doesn’t have another baseball offer lined up, nor is there a tempting job opportunity on the horizon. He’s not even contemplating a gap year. In truth, aside from his plan to complete his degree in sunny California, he’s unsure of what lies ahead. The only certainty? He was unhappy where he was.
The thrill of our firstborn receiving a combined baseball and academic scholarship was overwhelming, overshadowing any concerns we had about sending him to South Dakota. When he took the stage during the NCAA’s early signing day, I felt nothing but pride as I watched him commit to a university.
In that moment, I reflected on the years of hard work he’d put in: countless AP classes, nightly batting practices in our backyard, and the considerable financial investment we made over the years—from travel ball fees to endless equipment purchases. Every family road trip to baseball tournaments culminated in that one glorious moment of achievement.
Before accepting the scholarship, we had traveled to South Dakota to visit the university. Even a blizzard on our arrival couldn’t dampen my son’s enthusiasm; he was ready for a new adventure. But just a week into his second semester, he expressed a desire to come home.
While I welcomed the idea of having him closer, I wrestled with feelings of failure. Had I raised a quitter? Did he not value this incredible opportunity? Was I inadvertently teaching him to run away when things got tough?
After he finished his freshman year—driving 1,700 miles in under 48 hours to return home—I gained a new perspective.
1. Not a Quitter
My son had endured a challenging first semester, rarely voicing his discontent about the harsh weather and unfamiliar environment. He persevered through grueling workouts and practices, all while keeping his eye on the ultimate goal of securing a starting position at third base. However, as the season progressed, it became clear that the baseball program wasn’t a good match for him, leading to a decline in his passion for the game. He wasn’t just giving up lightly.
2. A Problem-Solver
The way he approached the situation filled me with pride. Instead of simply saying, “I want to come home,” he presented me with thorough research on majors, tuition, scholarship opportunities, and baseball programs at various California universities. He had a plan, complete with backup options.
3. Learning from Choices
I shared my thoughts and concerns with him, encouraging him to think about the consequences of leaving. “Starting as a freshman is a significant achievement; you might not have that chance again.” “This scholarship is a privilege, not a right. You’ll need to cover any extra tuition yourself.” “It’s a great university with your major. Are you sure you want to leave?”
I can’t predict whether he’ll look back with regret or if he’ll find success elsewhere. But as a parent, my role is to guide him and then step back, allowing him to make his own choices. He may soar or stumble, but I trust he has the resilience to recover.
4. Deserving Happiness
Ultimately, after weighing every option and potential outcome—including the risk of not playing college baseball anymore—he still wanted to leave. I finally gave my consent. The next morning, he told me, “I woke up feeling happier than I have since I started college. For the first time, I felt like I wasn’t trapped here.” It took me back to my own times of feeling confined, a sentiment I wish to spare my 19-year-old.
5. His Accomplishments Remain
The scholarship represented a significant moment for our family, and I realized my struggle wasn’t about feeling like a failure but rather the loss of what could have been. However, that doesn’t diminish the pride I felt or the joy of witnessing him sign his letter of intent—those memories are mine forever.
In the end, my son made a decision that felt right for him. Since NCAA regulations prevent him from playing at another Division 1 or 2 university this year, he chose to join a junior college in Southern California, known for successfully recruiting players. The coach has already secured a spot for him at third base. We all hope he’ll land another scholarship when he transfers to a four-year university, but the future remains uncertain.
What I know for sure is this: My son is swinging for the fences. And I’m doing what I’ve always done—cheering him on.
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Summary
Jenna reflects on her son’s decision to forgo a college baseball scholarship after a challenging year. Through this experience, she learns important lessons about perseverance, problem-solving, and the importance of happiness in making life choices. Ultimately, she supports her son’s pursuit of a more fulfilling path, recognizing that their journey is just beginning.