In the online parenting communities I frequent, there’s a recurring theme that catches my attention. It’s not the usual requests for pediatrician referrals, the latest scare articles about vaccines, or the mother who’s always asking if it’s normal for her little one to have a runny nose (Spoiler: It is, and that sniffle may stick around for years!). Rather, it’s the constant use of the word “Mama.”
Hey Mamas! Hi Mamas. New Mama Here! Mamas, I need your help! Mamas, I have a question. Mamas, please stop sending vaccine articles! Thanks, Mamas. Mamas, guess what? My baby just said Mama today! Mamas, seriously—let’s move on from vaccines, okay?
It’s not that I dislike the term itself. It had a certain charm when a free-spirited soul whispered it at my first music festival. I felt a rush of joy when my children first uttered it, the word tumbling out of their small mouths like a toddler learning to walk. I even embraced being called “Mama” from other mothers at first. I cherish my role as a mother and appreciate connecting with fellow moms, both online and offline. However, over time, “Mama” morphed into something overwhelming.
Yes, it’s an easy term to unify a group of women discussing motherhood. I’ve certainly used it in my posts too. But the relentless use of “Mama” in both virtual and real-life interactions feels like it oversimplifies our identities. I am a mother, yes, but I am also a wife, a daughter, a writer, a yoga instructor, an aspiring artist, and a passionate reader. I’m a feminist, a voter, and a fan of pop culture. I’m a complex person with interests and quirks that go beyond just being a mother.
Society often insists that motherhood is our defining trait, overshadowing our other pursuits. It seems irrelevant if you’re working towards a degree, running a business, or simply getting dressed in the morning; if you’re not focused on raising your children for an idealized Pinterest life, who are you? We mothers should have the freedom to embrace all facets of our lives, celebrating our journeys in motherhood while also honoring our individuality.
Whenever my partner and I are out without our children, it’s common for someone to ask who’s babysitting, as if the responsibility falls solely on me. My partner, a fantastic father, rarely gets labeled as “Papa” in everyday conversations, and is not reduced to just being a parent. I want my entire self recognized and valued. I want to be seen as more than just “Mama,” because I am so much more than that—and I know you are too.
Only my children can call me “Mama.” The rest of the world should find another term. And no, “Mommy” isn’t acceptable either.
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In summary, while “Mama” is a term filled with love and affection, it’s essential to recognize the multifaceted identities of mothers. We deserve to be seen as whole individuals, with rich lives beyond just our roles as caregivers.