At 38, I’ve finally discovered my ideal friend. You might think this realization would have struck me during my high school years, but surprisingly, it didn’t. Back then, I was still trying to understand myself, let alone figure out who I wanted in my life. As a teen, I often felt like an add-on, the “and” in “You should come to my party, and she can come too, I guess.” While others may have seen me differently, that was my perception in every social situation.
When I reached college, I connected with my alternative roommate who blasted Tori Amos and sometimes impulsively cut her hair when feeling low. Although she wasn’t my type, her music resonated with me. I tried mingling with sorority girls but couldn’t fathom paying for friendships. New Orleans offered plenty of alternative experiences. I spent time with stunning girls who didn’t see their own beauty, but the chaotic lifestyle of constant dieting and partying didn’t suit me. I adored them but couldn’t love them enough to stay. Graduation came, and I moved on.
Next up was Boston, where I met a powerful woman who showed me I didn’t need to hide my intelligence to attract the right men. She saved me from many poor choices in guys, but, sadly, our friendship faded when I moved to Connecticut. I was asking too much while giving too little, and once she got married and welcomed a child, our friendship’s definition became complicated.
Then, as I stepped into motherhood, I encountered someone special while picking up my daughter from preschool. This strong mama was pregnant with her second child, juggling moving houses and exuding a fierce energy. Though she seemed grumpy at first, I found myself intrigued.
Our conversations began as casual exchanges during school pick-ups and birthday parties. The moment she threw her head back and laughed at something I said, I knew I had found the friend I had been longing for. She had an unfiltered personality, a knack for challenges, and an impeccable sense for spotting nonsense.
I’m aware that many people have lifelong friends, while others constantly surround themselves with companions. As an adult, particularly as a mother, my time has become invaluable. Finding this friend has helped me define the qualities I desire in my relationships and the kind of woman I aspire to be. Since meeting Mia, I’ve discovered a circle of strong-minded, opinionated, and incredibly intelligent women. My happiness has soared to new heights.
Mia might not be the perfect match for everyone, but then again, no one can please everyone. I’m a passionate hugger, while she prefers to keep her distance. I embrace all sorts of people, though they often frustrate me, whereas she takes her time, making you earn her friendship. She’s all about meticulous planning, while I tend to be spontaneous. Yet, together, we balance each other perfectly. I know that when I forget snacks for my kids at the park, she’ll have extras tucked away. I also recognize that when she’s overwhelmed, a glass of wine and laughter from me can bring her back to center.
Above all, since connecting with Mia, I have rediscovered my own identity. I feel fiercer than ever, more confident in my career and parenting, and I’m writing more frequently. I am truly becoming the best version of myself.
While high school friendships left me feeling uncertain, college acquaintances were perplexing, and friendships in my twenties were just about fun, it’s my fellow mothers who are guiding me through this challenging yet rewarding phase of life. Motherhood can feel isolating and lonely at times, but with Mia by my side, I always have a partner willing to share a juice or a glass of wine.
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Summary
At 38, I’ve finally discovered the friend I’ve always wanted. My journey through various social circles has led me to Mia, a strong, unapologetic woman who complements my chaotic life as a mother. Together, we’ve formed a bond that has enriched my life and helped me uncover my true self.