I’m teaching my young teenage daughter how to be a true “sister” to her friends. Being a sister means supporting your fellow females, creating a network of relationships that are both fulfilling and empowering. Here’s how I’m helping my daughter become that dependable friend, or sister-friend:
1. Prepare Your Essentials
No woman stands alone. The middle school years are notorious for unexpected challenges, like the onset of menstruation. Early in middle school, I gave my daughter a small survival kit—a compact makeup bag stocked with pads, a couple of tampons, wipes, and a travel-sized deodorant. I’ve encouraged her to be proactive: if she sees someone, even a casual acquaintance, in need of menstrual supplies, she should step up and offer help, even if it’s her last tampon. Supplies can always be replenished.
2. Togetherness is Key
If a girl is at a gathering or waiting outside for a ride, it’s vital that she is not left alone. It’s unfortunate, but dangers can arise when girls separate from their peers. Ensure your friend is safe before you leave, which means she should be picked up by a parent or older sibling—or you should take her home yourself. Your friendship group should operate as a unit: if one stays, you all stay. This holds true even if you feel envious of the attention a boy is giving your friend. Her safety is paramount. I learned this lesson the hard way when I let a friend go off with someone I didn’t fully trust. Fortunately, I acted quickly and arrived just in time to help her.
3. Avoid Rivalry Over Boys
While it’s common to find yourself vying for spots on sports teams or in student leadership, competing for boys is a different story. At 14, the chances of a teenage crush leading to lasting love are slim. The bonds of female friendship typically endure far longer than fleeting romances. If a friend develops feelings for a guy you like, gracefully step back. Allow yourself time to heal, but keep your friendship intact. And remember, if he tries to pursue you later, he’s likely not worth your time.
4. Make Time for Your Friends
When you find yourself in a relationship, it’s important not to neglect your girlfriends. While it’s easy to get swept away in romance, your friends need to know they’re still valued. This is especially crucial when relationships come to an end.
5. Be There When It Counts
When a friend reaches out at 3 a.m., answer the call. You’d hope for the same in return, and let’s be real—your smartphone is probably right next to you.
Navigating middle and high school is a rollercoaster of emotions and challenges. What better way for our daughters to thrive than to have a close-knit group of girlfriends who celebrate victories, offer support, and provide a shoulder to lean on? By instilling these values, we can help our daughters grow into strong, supportive women who uplift one another—just like sisters.
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Summary
This article emphasizes the importance of fostering strong female friendships among young girls. It highlights key practices for being a supportive sister-friend, such as sharing essential supplies, ensuring safety, avoiding competition over boys, and maintaining connections during romantic relationships. Ultimately, the goal is to empower girls to support one another through life’s ups and downs, cultivating lasting bonds.