The 43 Thoughts I Had While Running a 5K

1. I’m so grateful that my partner, Alex, agreed to watch the kids while I tackle this race. What a fantastic dad!
2. Am I the only one who skipped the shower today?
3. I should probably make one last stop at the porta-potty before we kick things off.
4. I’ll let these fit-looking folks line up ahead of me; they seem more prepared.
5. I hope the kids are doing okay.
6. Wait, were we supposed to wear those arm bands to show off our smartphones?
7. I really hope my friends don’t get upset if I pass them!
8. Time to wave at everyone!
9. Car approaching—better move over! They might struggle to see us in our bright, high-tech running gear.
10. My backside feels pretty good; glad I opted for these compression shorts.
11. Thank goodness I skipped the poise undergarments; they would’ve been so noticeable!
12. Who leaves their horse’s mess behind?
13. I’m already feeling parched! I really should’ve drunk less to avoid any accidents.
14. I wonder how the kids are doing. I should speed up.
15. Shouldn’t have eaten that half carton of expired yogurt. Dairy and I do not mix!
16. Am I breathing too loudly?
17. This high-impact, lift-and-separate sports bra is doing wonders!
18. Water station! Do I dare grab a cup? It’s just 5 ounces.
19. Maybe I should skip it. I hope the water lady isn’t offended.
20. But I can’t resist picking up 10 or 12 of those cups someone dropped right near the trash can.
21. I’m boiling in these compression shorts, but they’re worth it.
22. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem! That dairy is really not helping!
23. Another car? Not much space here. Guess I’ll hop into these knee-high weeds to stay out of the way.
24. Oh no! A dead raccoon. How sad.
25. I really wonder what the kids are up to.
26. That water lady must be sweating! Poor thing.
27. What should I get the kids’ teachers as end-of-year gifts?
28. Easter candy is the best!
29. These compression shorts are too hot. Can anyone see my sweat?
30. I hope everyone here has slathered on sunscreen.
31. Am I really thirsty enough to try something blue?
32. That poor old man looks exhausted.
33. I’ll mentally go through the contents of our freezer.
34. I think I would still eat that!
35. What was that movie with the guy collecting dew from leaves to create a drink?
36. Someone smells. Is it me?
37. I really hate these compression shorts!
38. The Gods Must Be Crazy!
39. I’m feeling great; I’m almost there and ahead of many other women!
40. Can’t wait to see my family cheering me on. I’m such a great role model! I wonder if they’ll tear up when I finish.
41. WHAT????!!!! No water at the finish line???!!!
42. I can’t believe I asked for water at the finish line. So embarrassing!
43. Where are they? Oh, right. Sitting in the car, ready to leave. I feel so bad about the wait.

self insemination kit

This light-hearted reflection on running a 5K captures the chaotic yet humorous thoughts of a parent trying to balance fitness with family responsibilities. For more insights and support, check out this privacy policy that provides important information. Additionally, you might find valuable tips at Make A Mom about home insemination kits or explore the March of Dimes for excellent pregnancy resources.

Summary

The article humorously details the internal monologue of a parent during a 5K race, reflecting on family, fitness, and the little challenges that come with it.