In today’s world, we’re caught in a peculiar contradiction. We’re bombarded with alarming reports about an obesity crisis in America, and yet there’s a prevailing sentiment that we should avoid discussing weight with our children to prevent “body shame.” It seems we’re expected to encourage healthy habits without ever mentioning the actual word “weight.” This approach is quite flawed.
I attempted to have an age-appropriate discussion about nutritious eating with my daughter, Emma, who is just 9 years old. Her response was a classic example of childlike reasoning: “Will it make me die?” To her, the distant possibility of unhealthy eating impacting her health decades from now holds little weight—pun intended. When I cut to the chase and explained that too many brownies could lead to being overweight, she immediately put the brownie down. Conversation concluded.
Of course, I don’t want Emma to feel pressured to conform to an unrealistic standard of beauty. However, we are sending mixed signals to our kids, which can be detrimental. No matter how much we tell our daughters that size doesn’t matter, the truth is it does. I’ve wrestled with my own weight throughout my life, fluctuating between sizes 2 and 14. I can confidently say it’s often more enjoyable to be slender. Being overweight can put a damper on your high school and college experience—let’s face it, we live in a world that notices extra pounds. Moreover, weight can influence job prospects and lead to significant health complications.
So why are we misleading our daughters by suggesting that their body shape doesn’t matter? I’ve taken a balanced approach with Emma. I explain that while societal opinions shouldn’t define them, they often do. I share my experiences, telling her that being overweight can lead to feelings of isolation and embarrassment—like having to take the elevator while friends sprint up the stairs. I emphasize that while her worth as a person is unaffected by her size, being overweight can impact her enjoyment of life during childhood and adolescence.
I want to shield her from the challenges of growing up overweight, and if it means having to use the word “fat” to convey the message, then I’m willing to do so. If you’re interested in exploring how to navigate these conversations, you might find this article helpful.
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In summary, discussing weight openly with children can be a sensitive but necessary conversation. It’s essential to strike a balance between promoting healthy habits and acknowledging the realities of societal perceptions. By doing so, we can help our children navigate their self-image and health more effectively.